Discourse 5: Walking and Talking with God

Testifying for a Better Life

                This discourse follows the edification of marriage, for both the separation of, as well as the continuity of the subject of faith.

I do not write to appeal to your reason, as an exercise of the rational, rather, I call out to your heart, your spirit, your soul. I approach you as the reader open-handed and with humility. There is no deception or judgement in my heart as I reach across the abyss between human souls, whispering to you, “God loves us all.” It will be Ok.

I want you to come join me, as Christ asked Peter. Although, it is not I who knows the way, I am merely part of the flock. Our pastures and our paths may be different, and my answers, perhaps even my questions, will not be yours. The books that speak to us and the names we may pray to may also be different, as we all interpret the world slightly differently from one another. This world and its impressions may create its own tower of babel as it relates to the Almighty, but the meanings, if we can focus on them, find universality with one another, as our desire to know our God calls to us all in its own way.  However, the gate in which we walk is the same, as is the shepherd we shall follow out onto the water. Learn to hear his voice. Take my hand, let us play with our lord. This is my testimony for a better life.

Part I

Curiosity

                There is a mystery of life that calls us all by name, it claws at our insides, it haunts our dreams and our thoughts of the future. Sometimes in the quiet hours of the morning between sips of coffee you can hear it whisper. Other times it arrives at noonday, seemingly manifesting out of the ether to disrupt our mental space. Often, it can come at night, shortly before we close our eyes, perhaps for the last time. It cannot be ignored; it cannot be denied permanently. It comes for us all.

 Some say the mystery is born of fear, a creation to alleviate the unknown. A coping mechanism to deal with uncertainty. Perhaps. But it can also mean something else. Something wonderful. Whatever one may choose to believe, we have all heard the call of the mystery. Why are we here? What does it all mean? When we die, what happens?

Many have claimed to know the answer to these questions, ranging from detailed descriptions of creation, purpose and meaning all the way to the inverse with atheism, nihilism, and meaninglessness.

I do not claim to know the answer to these questions for you, I can only tell you about the path that I have been on as well as the path I now choose to follow. This essay is not intended to provide you with all of the arguments and justifications that have been professed by humans over the millennia, but I will touch on a few that are relevant to my journey. I will leave it up to the reader to explore further if they are so inclined, and to determine their own path if they so choose. After all, this is not a task we are able to delegate, for it is ours alone to discover as individuals.  Perhaps if you are not already, you may decide to take the same path, or one like it, for it is one that must be chosen by free will. It is not the path of least resistance. But it is a path to a better life, for this one and the next. This is my personal testimony.

                No matter who you are, from every corner of the earth, these questions of the mystery manifest in our human psyche through curiosity, even at a very early age. Asking “why” about all things comes as a natural inclination to children, the innate born- in curiosity that drives us outward towards the world; towards other, to explore, understand, master, and conquer. Likewise, this curiosity can also lead us to wisdom, fellowship, and charity. But as we age, the questions we ask evolve, and eventually we run out of those who can show us the answer. Rather, not an answer that can be measured by our human standards. The path of curiosity will lead to a particular choice, can I believe if I cannot see?  

I have found that the desire to know and comprehend the physical temporal world is not a bad thing in itself, nor a sin as some suggest, rather it is something I advocate for while wearing garments of a good moral sense and healthy moderation. We should appreciate the world for what it is, as long as we do not find ourselves identifying with it. As it is said, we are pilgrims in this land. There is unfathomable beauty in Gods canvas, a creation of incalculable wonders and design; we were meant to explore it, to pursue it in a world full of possibilities. God wants us to be builders in this world.   

However, there are indeed negative aspects of this pursuit, many of which were laid out in the previous discourse. If we have not built ourselves whole, or at the least on the path of such, the external world will provide us with temptations we are not prepared to handle, as well as adding to the confusion of an already confused soul that has been immersed in original sin. As mentioned, this is a challenging condition, the state of being human in a fallen world. It is my opinion, much like how one must learn to develop an eye for the arts and the finer elements of life in order to recognize them, one must also develop the sight to appreciate the unseen forces that act out their nature on this physical plane. One cannot expect swine to understand beauty any more than a man without faith can see the ways of God.  

To that point, I have been both swine and a man of faith, so I am neither setting myself above or below you as a reader. I am a sinful man who makes many mistakes, but as my skill for faith grows, these transgressions grow smaller and fewer and far between. My path, like yours, is laden with obstacles, some of which are unique to us as individuals. Returning to the concept of “negative aspects of worldly pursuit”, the negative aspect that has affected me the most over my life is the over reliance of our ability to reason while in my search for wisdom and understanding of the world. This, much more so than its carnal temptations. The belief that reason alone can reveal all answers has been perhaps my greatest hubris, one that I occasionally still battle. Although, the fight is growing easier as the path is getting worn down and my inertia changes. (Thanks to Mercy and Grace)

Briefly, a bit of background to my struggle. Naturally, and promulgated by design of scientism, we have a tendency (especially in the modern world) to err in our curiosity by arriving at the conclusion that we are fully able to comprehend the world instead of just considering its impressions. It is at that point, when under the specter of certainty, the world becomes only what we can imagine and prove. Metaphysics then transmutes itself from being unknown but possible into impossible and foolish. We now live in such an unimaginative world where possibilities must first be qualified in order to exist.

F.A. Hayek in his book “Studies on the Abuse and Decline of Reason” had the following to say:

“Never will man penetrate deeper into error than when he is continuing on a road that has led him to great success. And never can pride in the achievements of the natural sciences and confidence in the omnipotence of their methods have been more justified than at the turn of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, and nowhere more so than Paris, where almost all the great scientists of the age congregated. If it is true, therefore, that the new attitude of man toward social affairs in the nineteenth century was due to the new mental habits acquired in the intellectual and material conquest of nature, we should expect it to appear where modern science celebrated its greatest triumphs.”

Among other things, Hayek discusses how these great intellectual forces completely transformed social thought during the course of the 19^th century with sociology, socialism, and the species of modern positivism, which Hayek refers to as scientism. Elsewhere I have discussed this at great length; the technocratic weapon and philosophy of scientism; its capture of societies’ intelligentsia created a war for the mind, and our souls, that the general population was not prepared for, nor are they predisposed to be aware of it. This “new attitude of man” became part of the scientific formation and management of civilization, the product of which been coined as mass society, which is the detailed structuring of all things, including our individual and collective thoughts.

Hayek centered this change in social thought around this body of professional scientists and engineers around Paris and a new institution called Ecole Polytechnique, which he stated, “embodied the new spirit as no other”. However, as I have shown in other work, this “new attitude” was a much more decentralized movement, albeit centrally managed, with fires of change burning all over Europe as well as on the other side of the Atlantic, all with the goal of global centralization around the omnipotent field of science, crowned by the king of sciences, according to them, sociology.

Scientism over the past few centuries, as it relates to public thought, has become the path of least resistance, reinforced by many avenues of success.  This “path” has obtained significant cerebral capture of mass society, the effects of which are especially pronounced in the 21^st century. Covid-19 (due to intellectual deferment to the compliant intelligentsia class) to climate change (due to scientific hubris & intentional obfuscation), all the way up to the interpretation of the metaphysics associated with God. As Hayek implied, man has ventured deep into error thinking he is capable of knowing all things.  

This same world incentivizes hedonism, and it judges those who have faith in an unseen God as though they must be intellectual neanderthals. (although it turns out neanderthals were pretty smart) This “new attitude” has made us all a comedy of ants; who while attempting to understand analytical calculus, decides that it must not exist because they cannot fathom numbers. This is akin to humans who claim to know the boundaries of possible because they learned it from an expert they saw on TV. I used to count myself among that crowd as well, one who followed the path of least resistance to the ultimate truth that science can only provide. We were warned of false idols, advice I did not take early enough. Let me not get ahead of myself.

To that end, this is why I believe the answer provided to the question; “Can man know all things?”, is one of the most informative about a person’s disposition on reality, as well as their outlook on life itself. If one claims the affirmative, the position of certainty, which is the scientific “inevitable” destination of the technocratic humanists; the world becomes smaller, less colorful, less possible. Godless even, because it cannot be measured by our science. Yet, for the one who embraces uncertainty, they find not only a cosmos of possibilities in full spectrum color, but freedom itself.

Back to curiosity. Since I have been old enough to recall my thoughts and considerations, I have contemplated these questions of the mystery, that are all much larger than myself. I have found my curiosity with such things usually exceeded my peers around me as my conversations always ventured into metaphysics and the philosophical even at an early age. As I aged and matured, the substance and depth of my questions evolved. This too I believe is natural for many people, even still, I tend to prefer this manner of discourse more than most. I became bored rather quickly with the superficial and trivial questions that plague much of modern life. This is not a boast, but a warning on what has led to a significant struggle for me without the application of temperance.  As mentioned in the previous discourse, all humans have their own struggles unique to themselves. Some are afflicted with lust, others such as me, are tempted by the gluttonous application of reason. Having believed all things must have an proveable explanation to be true. This of course is desired by modern scientism. Naturally, to me, I applied this sin to some of our most difficult questions, those of the mystery, hoping to squeeze an answer from Prometheus by sheer directed will. Onward to satisfy curiosity and bring about one of the most coveted human sensations, that of certainty.  While contemplating what constitutes a meaningful existence, and if there is such a thing, is not a new concept, but it is one that I have dwelt on for far longer than I should have.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

I certainly have been at times a victim of this self-inflicted hubris, reaching to know, to prove what I believe by directed will of reason. A default belief in the omnipotence of reason stood as a shadow over my most important questions about life and its meaning. I know I am not alone in this struggle. As discussed in Discourse 4, this hubris was me seeking external validation on a path that led away from myself, away from the truth. All along the while, even during my pursuit, I could feel something pulling at my core, speaking to me in a language I did not yet know how to hear. Later, I came to know the voice I heard calling for me, it was that of our good shepherd, leaving the 99 and looking for me.  In my life, I have been turned around multiple times, but I was never lost. The path has not been easy, nor should we expect it to be.

Although, in my early ignorance, the gravity of this pull caused me great confliction when I was a late teenager. While I certainly knew OF God, I did not know how to seek his face. Instead, I sought my answers in the material world, with the assistance of science and reason. Ironically, my first major battle with the demon Acedia came shortly after I began teaching Sunday school at Rock Camp Methodist Church when I was 13 years old. Acedia now follows me as a shadow follows its projector, for it has now seen my face. But I will get to it in more detail later.

For clarity, Rock Camp was a very small congregation when I attended, even smaller now unfortunately. My mother and cousin played piano while 75 of us sang old Hymns. The sound of my mother playing piano remains among my fondest memories of my youth, both at home and at church. I was baptized in a beautiful Appalachian Lake near Rock Camp on a very crisp fall morning when I was 11. It could not have been any warmer than 40 degrees, the bank still had dew on the ground, but the sky was completely clear and light blue. (in the days before perpetual cloud seeding). It was, by all accounts, one of the most beautiful days of my life. To this day I can still feel the cold water in my memories, including the breath I took when I was raised from the water. Imagine yourself trapped in a hot closet, only to be let out to feel the rush of cooler air drive the heat from your lungs and the humidity from your skin. The physical alleviation one could imagine, is how I felt in my heart the moment I was raised and born again, a cool drink of water for the soul. That sensation I imagine, is but a taste of the peace that passes all understanding. Unfortunately, that feeling is fleeting here, and at the time I did not maintain it for long. However, I do recall it on occasion from that moment even now thirty years later. Now that I know and have chosen, Gods humor provides me small amusements, in which I am reminded of promises of things unseen, and of the feeling of peace that I have briefly held on occasion. Better days are coming indeed.

Moving forward in the time after my baptism, I attended Church very regularly and helped with the various festivals we had, including the production of Apple butter in the fall. One of the older kids who taught Sunday school every week moved away for college and the church found itself in need of someone to take over. Seeing that most of the students were much younger than myself, I was a candidate for the task. When I began teaching on Sunday mornings, I was certainly a believer, but I was not a biblical scholar, savant or even an aspiring pastor.

At the time I was beginning to grow more interested in academics, was learning how to “think”. I began learning how to exercise reason & logic, which became fun mental exercises. At the time I was bored with school, it moved too slowly. I did not become a good student until grad school, by traditional standards. Yet, that did not stop me from having the youthful arrogance of a kid who did not have to try to get a B in High School. Perhaps because I had started teaching Sunday school so young, I perceived I had wisdom on the subject.

Consequently, I began applying my newfound “reason” to scripture, quickly discovering that everyone around me were fools on the subject. Even though I lacked any significant amount of life experiences, knowledge, or maturity; I decoded the inconsistencies, found the historic faults in the religious institutions, and thought Nietzsche was right when he said that God was dead. As it turns out, I did not understand Nietzsche either.

Side note: I should have asked someone, but for whatever reason I did not. Silently, I suffered and fought it alone. (To my girls) I pray that if you, my children, have questions about such things, come to me as you are. Do not hide it out of fear of disappointment or judgement. Perhaps it was fear of judgement that prevented me from humbling myself and asking. As I now understand, If I had asked, there would have been open arms awaiting my inquisition, same as I offer to you now. They were not fools; I was. They knew Christ as I did not. Everyone doubts, this is why faith is as it is. It is a skill that must also be learned, it is not our default.

My only defense that I care to offer, which is more of a warning than excuse, it is a grave mistake to anthropomorphize God, even to children. The image of an old man with a white beard in the clouds has caused many, including myself, to not develop the proper reverence for God. Resist this, I suggest, outside of art for context. (Some even are against this) God is so much more than us lowly humans, we are an image of, not the object as such, a distinction with incalculable difference. I am not original in this line of thinking, but I was unaware of the others during my initial inception of it. I grok that it was wrong, as did reformer John Calvin. He recognized the gravity of this error as well, saying “A true image of God is not to be found in all the world; and hence... His glory is defiled, and His truth corrupted by the lie, whenever He is set before our eyes in a visible form”.  In the 17^th century Sir Thomas Browne wrote that he considered the representation of God the Father using an old man “a dangerous act” that might lead to, in his words, “Egyptian symbolism.”

Note: For those unfamiliar with the Egyptian mystery schools, many of their “symbols”, which inherently have the capacity for polysemy, served as a form of monad, where they stood for multiple meanings to those who were trained to read them. (Not unlike other mystery schools and societies) The uninitiated would perceive a symbol to mean one thing, usually a partial truth at best, whereas the initiates understood things to a higher degree. The masters, in this particular mystery school, belong to the priestly class. They understood particular truths about things that the plebian classes did not as it pertained to the mystery of God. This division of knowledge facilitated by design a class system, where common Egyptians were separated from God by their elites. Sir Thomas Browne compared this anthropomorphizing to an intentional obfuscation much like the Swiss army knife of Egyptian symbolism. If interested in the arcane, Manly P. Hall is an author who has explored many such schools in his work.  

Although, this next passage carries the authority on the matter:

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

Exodus 20:4

 This anthropomorphic presentation has been fostered over the past century and a half due to its utility in mass society formation, supplanting God with that of the technocratic state, its scientism, and its approved thought architecture.  To some degree, this affected how I considered God upon contemplation. Anthropomorphizing God, presents God as a being-in-the-world versus the world-being-in-God. The former is a separation and dependent, the latter is all encompassing and omnipotent. How we think of God matters, even subconsciously.

Despite the pull from my core calling me by name, in all of my infinite wisdom, I decided at sixteen years old that God must not exist. While my stent in atheism did not last long, it was long enough to become introduced to the demon Acedia for the first time. It was then I began learning about the importance and necessity of spiritual combat, and just how similar it is to physical combat. For starters, one has to identify their assailant, to recognize one is under attack. Then, If one hesitates and is not committed to defense, the opponent gains the advantage. Acedia is always ambient, coiled, and ready to strike when it sees the advantage. One must be vigilant in their defense. I have been fighting them (Acedia has many faces as demons tend to do) ever since, as I will be for the rest of my life. This opportunistic demon is my arch enemy, as well as my greatest victory. While this is my path, I am sure you will meet this foe along your journey, especially if you are building yourself whole.

Part II

The Demon Acedia

Section I: Named

                In previous discourse, I highlighted the importance of understanding the historic meanings of words; how they are obfuscated by mistranslations and omissions (sometimes intentional, sometimes not) as well as how poor understandings of their meanings from original authors have caused some words to have their meanings inverted, transvaluated, or they have been lost altogether in time, such as is often the case with Acedia.

Acedia is a devil that convinced the world that it does not exist, by deploying sophistry and acting like a chameleon, causing the use of the word to become neglected. Consequently, our ability to recognize it, and defeat it, has become greatly diminished. I seek to address and remedy this conscious deficiency here, for it has provided me great burden in my life; beyond awareness, I wish to provide to you the tools and direction in this regard to assist you with your own spiritual combat with this demon that you will inevitably have. Once a demon is named, it can be cast out by the exorcist. We must be our own exorcist.    

“The limits of language are the limits of my world.”

-Ludwig Wittgenstein

                It was the early monastic tradition, particularly the desert fathers, who first identified this seemingly nebulous and complex phenomenon of Acedia. This phenomenon which has many faces, produces a multitude of symptoms which manifests in the hearts and minds of men. The desert fathers identified this demon with sloth, sadness, despair, a repulsion with things of God and a loss of the meaning and glory of life. Other manifestations of this demon include weariness, melancholy, discouragement, depression, even feeling overworked or mental exhaustion. These feelings are often powerful and can be paralyzing as they tend to dampen our passion for life itself.  In previous discourse, I said many people look forward to “getting things over with”, as it regarding things they should enjoy, like a friend’s wedding or a holiday dinner with family.  This is also an effect of the presence of Acedia, the loss of desire of purpose in all things.

A brief look at the etymology of the word Acedia can help the reader understand the complexity of its meaning. Acedia in English comes from the Latin Acedia, which in turn comes from the Greek Akedia, which means “lack of care”. Furthermore, in Latin, Akedia is on occasion translated to incuria, which means carelessness or indifference, even apathy.

As the reader can already see, Acedia does indeed have many faces, but not everyone suffers from them all or to the same degree. However, the manifestation of sloth and apathy, including a loss of passion for life itself, clearly demonstrates that Acedia has become the collective demon of mass society as the path of least resistance finds its destination at the heart of it. But I shall return to that concept later in this essay.

While I have briefly introduced to you a few of the symptoms of Acedia, I have yet to identify the primary cause of this disease. In medicine we would say that Acedia is a secondary condition, or side effect, attributed to a primary ailment. Yet, in our modern world, the primary cause of this disease, this demon, is ignored. The body and mind are medicated by our modern shaman, a process of symptomatic treatment, while the primary cause is left to promulgate its will against yours. The spirit of the patient remains comatose, absent from the fight of its life, for its life. The initial prescription must be to wake it from slumber and ready it for the fight. It cannot be delegated.

In order to demonstrate the severity of the threat this demon possesses, in order to understand it, to defeat it, I must summon the words and wisdom of those who have come before me. The historical perspective of Acedia can provide the keys to victory over it, as well as providing us the sight to see it now walk among us, the biggest threat to our soul that most of us will ever face. The following presents a path for the exorcist, which one must become for that victory.

Section II

The Desert Fathers on Acedia

                One of the most consequential periods of time in both Christian and world history occurred around the year 313 AD, the beginning of the Constantinian shift, when the Edict of Milan put an end to the persecutions of Christians in the Roman empire. While Christianity did not become the state church of the Roman empire until 380 AD with the Edict of Thessalonica, the end of persecution brought forth many influences into Christianity, particularly that of the Roman elite. It was during this liminal time a remarkable spiritual movement took place, where Christians from all backgrounds and social classes left behind the sprouting imperial church to live a life of prayer and asceticism in the desert. These individuals became commonly known as the Desert Fathers, but there were also Desert Mothers.

One such Desert Father I want to focus on is the writings of Evagrius of Pontus. (345-399) Evagrius developed what many consider to be the earliest doctrine on Acedia.

“The demon of Acedia, also called the ‘noonday devil’ is the most oppressive of all demons”

-Evagrius

To be in context with what he teaches about Acedia, one must look at his theory of the “8 thoughts of wickedness” known as logismoi, found in his work “The Monk: A Treatise on the Practical Life” (Praktikos). To Evagrius, the logismoi is identified with the demon that caused or inspired the thought, examples would be “demon of anger”, the “demon of luxury”, the “demon of acedia” et cetera. The reader can draw comparisons from the 7 deadly sins mentioned in the previous discourse when looking at his eight thoughts, as they draw inspiration from the seventh chapter of Deuteronomy, which lists the nations Israel must fight before it can enter the promised land. Eight nations in total, including Egypt, which was departed from for the desert, must be defeated.

Christian life has often been viewed as a march through the desert. Leaving Egypt (a land of sin) by crossing the red sea (baptism) leads to a spiritual journey, a pilgrimage in the desert, that will last our whole lives. For us to make it to the promised land (eternal life), we must fight these enemies of Israel that are symbolized by these eight nations, the eight enemies of our soul. The worst of these enemies is symbolized by Egypt, that of pride, followed by the other seven; gluttony, lust, avarice (greed), sadness, anger, acedia, and vainglory.

Evagrius was original in how he presented these wicked thoughts, always placing them in the same order. Beginning with the more carnal and corporeal like gluttony and lust, leading to the more spiritual ones like acedia, vanity, and pride. To Evagrius, all of these logismoi have a twofold origin which aligns with the two-fold nature of man, the corporeal and the spiritual. Evagrius postulated they arise from two impassioned aspects of the soul, the concupiscible (how we sense attraction to the good) and the irascible (how we sense aversion to what appears to us as evil). Both aspects can illuminate or obfuscate the third aspect, the intellect, which according to Evagrius the main function of is to know God.

Side note: The reader may see the similarity with what I stated in the previous discourse regarding the development of a good moral sense as well as the battle between the pneuma of the body and that of our free will.

All of these wicked thoughts, according to Evagrius, arise from one of these aspects of the soul. Although, he found that Acedia was special among the wicked thoughts because it rises from all of these aspects at once, providing it with a terrible and formidable character. Acedia can be found at the intersection of two series of vices, one from below with the corporeal passions, and one from above with the spiritual passions. Due to this duality of manifestation, Acedia affects the body and soul simultaneously. (A solid example is how what we call depression blunts not only the mental body and spirit, but it also dampens the vigor and vitality of the physical body)

Considering this, it can be seen why Evagrius labeled the demon of Acedia as “a complex thought.” One can see the inherent difficulty in describing Acedia, which has contributed to numerous translation issues. This is one reason why that in the fifth century, John Cassian (who introduced Evagrius to the west) chose not to translate the Greek term Akedia into Latin, opting instead to transliterate it into Acedia. Words such as depression, laziness, despair, languor, torpor, boredom, disgust… fail to fully capture the meaning or gravity of this demon. It is a very real and present danger.

“Whereas the other wicked thoughts are like the links of a chain, Acedia is the last of these links: therefore, it is not a transitional evil. Acedia endures. It is not a short-lived crisis. It is a radical, chronic evil. In Evagrius’ view, it causes a stifling of the intellect, the nous, whose function is precisely to contemplate God. Starting from the basest passions, it manages to stifle this contemplation of God. However, since this demon is not followed by any other, at least not immediately, victory over it is marvelous.”

-Jean-Charles Nault, O.S.B. Abbot of Saint-Wandrille (From The Noonday Devil)

A person can find themselves acquainted with Acedia in a variety of ways as I have personally found. However, according to Evagrius there are five principal manifestations of Acedia. I will cover them in order of increasing intensity and will provide a few comments from him on each of them from his book “Talking back: A Monastic Handbook for Combating Demons”.

1)A Certain Interior Instability:

This is characterized by the need to move about or to obtain a change of scenery. One can see why this would be an initial warning of Acedia to a monk who lives a solitary life. Even in our modern life with our plethora of distractions and stimulations, we often find ourselves reaching out for a change, thinking it will alleviate what has hold of us, when in fact it is within ourselves the perception is skewed. Do not conflate what is said here to imply a need for a vacation, to witness something new or to realize and change a bad habit or situation. Rather, this interior instability is a product of not appreciating or adhering to the fidelity of one’s own life. Here is Evagrius on the subject:

“The demon of Acedia suggests to you ideas of leaving, the need to change your place and your way of life. He depicts this other life as your salvation and persuades you that if you do not leave, you are lost.”

2) An exaggerated concern for one’s health:

In the modern world we could equate this to one being a hypochondriac, in general, but this was also particularly pronounced during Covid-19. While driven by fear stemming from existential thoughts, concern is heightened beyond rationality, causing Individuals to trade liberty for perceived safety and taking a risk with vaccines that were untested and already proving to be highly dangerous writ large. As it relates to Evagrius and the monks, this manifestation was aided by the precariousness of the desert where they may fear a lack of essentials such as food and water.

“The thought of listlessness... depicts to us a prolonged old age, severe poverty without consolation, and diseases that can kill the body.”

This manifestation can cause temptations towards gluttony to compensate for the perceived lack of essentials. Beyond other socioeconomic factors, this is another reason why modern indigent populations in developed countries have more metabolic issues such as obesity. The fear of food insecurity, real or not, can lead to a gluttonous hibernation effect, where an individual will consume significant portions of marginally (at best) nutritious food for comfort. Of course, this creates a biological feedback loop as one becomes addicted to various chemicals in food as well as their perceived psychological comforts. (comfort food)

However, at the root of this exaggerated concern is the uncertainty that Acedia fosters in our hearts, a constant whisper reminding us that we are going to die. For those who have not begun climbing the ladder and taken a leap of faith, this concern can lead to an existential crisis, even subconsciously. While I will get to the various remedies proposed by Evagrius and others for Acedia, in this particular case of concern I wish to add this here where it best fits:

As a healthcare professional, I support taking care of one’s body through reasonable preventative maintenance as well as treatment of any manifested diseases or conditions. However, it must be understood, it must be internalized, these corporeal measures relate to the quality of life of the body... a body that will die. As our living physical bodies are not fazed by going to sleep on Saturday to awaken on Sunday, our spiritual body must perceive the transition from Life to Death under the same accord. One day we are alive, the next we are not, yet the difference is not the end of all things, rather, the transmigration of our soul from the living Saturday to the eternal Sunday. Take care of your body, cultivate your soul, and temper your thoughts on this transition.

3) Aversion to manual work

For the desert monks it is easy to see how this could manifest, as work in the desert was not enjoyable to say the least. They would make baskets and sell them in Alexandria, often taking apart what baskets they did not sell at night only to re-create them the next day. This work, while simple, was repetitive and monotonous, traits that many workers in the modern world can relate to. In the case with the monks, this task was intended to leave the mind free to devote itself to the Lord. However, for the modern world and its plug-and-play employees in our economic apparatus of mass-produced consumerism, monotonous repetitive tasks lead not only to boredom, but questions about purpose and a lack of satisfaction in one’s labor. I am not implying that all repetitive monotonous labor is without purpose, merit, or value to us as individuals. Nor am I condensing Acedia into mere laziness as John Cassian did, although laziness is certainly a biproduct. What I am stating, as I interpret Evagrius, is that Acedia can dampen our spirit to build, even lessening our desire to labor with our hands towards things that are good.

“Acedia is an ethereal friendship, one who leads our steps astray, hatred of industriousness.”

Evagrius from “On the Vices opposed to Virtues.”

4) Neglect in Observing the Rule

Evagrius presented this manifestation as it arrived for the monks, as a dereliction of their duties with prayer.

“The monk afflicted with Acedia is lazy in prayer and will not even say the words of a prayer. As a sick man cannot carry about a heavy burden, so a person afflicted by Acedia will not perform a work of God with diligence.”

This can be seen as a temptation to minimalism, where every task appears to be “too much.” John Climacus is his work “The Ladder of Divine Ascent” had the demon of Acedia speak to the reader:

“I have many mothers, - Stolidity of the soul, forgetfulness of the things of heaven, or, sometimes, too heavy a burden of troubles.”

Evagrius also points out that this temptation can also lead to maximalism since opposites meet.

“The demon of Acedia suggests to the persevering ascetic an extreme withdraw, inviting him to rival John the Baptist and Antony, the very first of the anchorites, so that unable to bear the prolonged and inhumane withdraw, he flees with shame, abandoning the place, and the demon then makes his boast, ‘I prevailed over him’.

Evagrius from “On Thoughts”

As you can see in this manifestation, the demon can suggest to you that you are doing too much, or that you are not doing enough. It stirs malcontent in the spirit so that it begins to question its own fidelity. Defeating this takes proper discernment, which will be expanded upon in his proposed remedies.

5) General Discouragement

                According to Evagrius, this is the most intense manifestation. For the monk who has not abandoned his cell, his place of spiritual battle, Acedia may manage to incite a state of general discouragement to the point it can cause them to question their vocation. In the modern world, this can be seen as disappointment in one’s station in life, the path that brought one there, as well as dwelling on past choices or regrets. Evagrius describes this masterfully:

“The soul…due to the thoughts of sloth and listlessness that have persisted in it, has become weak, has been brought low, and has dissipated in the miseries of its soul; whose strength has been consumed by its great fatigue; whose hope has nearly been destroyed by this demons force; that has become mad and childish with passionate and doleful tears; and that has no relief from anywhere.

From “Eight Thoughts”

Modern man often finds himself asking “why am I here, where I am” instead of the “who am I here, where I am.”  Why we are somewhere, and where we are, often reside outside of our control. Who we are, outside of, and above our circumstances, is the question the spiritual exorcist should hold, define, and answer, while discarding the relevance of the rest. It is within this domain, that which cannot be found without, inside the heart of the inner man, where the war for the soul must commence by directed will. There are two Armageddon’s, the first of which occurs inside, a spiritual battlefield where we meet the Demon Acedia.

Although, as Evagrius correctly observed, the danger of Acedia is precisely the fact that it conceals itself from the one who experiences it. While I still have a while to go, perhaps if the reader was not able to do so already, they can now begin to recognize this demon in their own life. Now, let me spend some time discussing what Evagrius proposed as a remedy for this demon.

Evagrius’ Five Remedies for Acedia

1) Tears

To Evagrius and the eastern spiritual tradition, tears have an essential meaning: They are the external manifestation of the soul’s acknowledgement that it needs to be saved, an understanding that we cannot achieve this alone. This fundamentally opposes one meaning of Acedia, a lack of concern.

“I want to be saved, but my thoughts do not let me go.”

-Saint Anthony

Furthermore, tears have another meaning for the desert fathers beyond an acknowledgement of needed mercy and grace. Much in the way that water can carve canyons in rock over time, so can our tears cut through our heart of stone, transmuting it into a receptacle of mercy and guidance by the holy spirit.

Here is a passage by Evagrius from Praktikos:

“When we come up against the demon of Acedia, then with tears let us divide the soul and have one part offer consolation and the other receive consolation. And sowing within ourselves goodly hopes, let us chant with holy David this incantation: “Why are you saddened, O my soul, and why do you trouble me? Hope in God; for I shall confess him, the salvation of my face and my God.”

Most people with any measure of life experience can relate to the idea that shedding tears can be cathartic, but we seldom apply that idea to prayer. The modern world interprets tears as a sign of weakness, an inversion of the truth as it applies to spiritual battle. Surrendering oneself to Faith and trusting in God is a major step while climbing the ladder of Diving Ascent, as well as being a dominating tool against Acedia. In my younger days, I would question my own fortitude when I would weep during intense conversations with God. Now I understand even Jesus wept. There is no shame, rather, a wellspring of strength to be found.

“Sadness is burdensome, and Acedia is irresistible, but tears shed before God are stronger than both.”

Evagrius from “Exhortation to a Virgin”

2) Prayer and Work

Once when Anthony was sitting in the desert he fell into boredom and irritation. (Acedia) He said to God, “Lord I want to be made whole and my thoughts do not let me. What am I to do about this trouble, how shall I be cured?” After a while he got up and went outside. He saw someone like himself sitting down and working, then standing up to pray; then sitting down again to make a plait of palm leaves and standing up again to pray. It was an angel of the Lord sent to correct Anthony and make him vigilant. He heard the voice of the angel saying, “Do this and you will be cured.” When he heard it, he was very glad and recovered his confidence. He did what the angel had done and found the salvation that he was seeking.”

From: “The Image of Acedia” by Remi Brague (1985 issue of Revue Thomiste)

Before adding a passage from Evagrius, I want to point out that prayer was consistent, mixed in with Anthonys daily labor.

“The demon of Acedia lies in wait for laziness and ‘is full of desires’ as scripture says. (Proverbs 13:4)

Evagrius from “The Foundations of Monastic Life

There are two parts to this remedy proposed by Evagrius. Work and prayer. Our work, our labor, including the avoidance of procrastination, satisfies the cravings of our inner builder that desires to engage the world. Left idle, the spirit becomes susceptible to attacks from Acedia, fomenting feelings of doubt, worthlessness, insufficiency, including ideas of not being worthy of salvation. Through this, Evagrius is advocating for vigilance. Living a purposeful life, where one is building themselves, toiling with the intention of directed will, can help deter assaults. However, even with an industrious and “get it done” attitude, Acedia will inevitably come calling. Hence the necessity of daily prayer, not just in the opening and closing moments of the day, rather, learning how to talk and walk with God.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Isaiah 26:3

I am not suggesting to the reader that they must become a monk and perform prayer and work like Anthony the Great in order to defeat Acedia. Nor am I suggesting a life of constant prayer as others have. Although, your calling and choices are your own and such paths may be fruitful to some, so I am certainly not negating it. However, I have found that integrating this idea, these habits, into my daily life, has had a transformative effect.

There will be, and have been, days when labor is not possible. But one does not need an unbroken body to converse with the Lord. Our labors, while certainly important, are secondary to the remedy of prayer. As mentioned, I have come to understand this as learning to talk and walk with God. Consider this:

“I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.”

Psalm 16:8

As I move through my day, through my life, I imagine God as being ambient, above, below, and between all things. Accessible to all who choose. Setting the Lord before me, reminds me of this truth unseen, that there is no distance between ourselves and God at all times. While I would not call it constant prayer, I have made it a habit to remind myself that I am enveloped in God’s presence, an everlasting love. I do this by considering my constant companion, our Good Shepherd, in all that I do. Not at a distance you see, rather, always set before me. I practice thanksgiving in all things by communicating gratitude, sometimes out loud, other times in my head. When Acedia attempts to hold me, I ask my friend for help, for refuge from the storm, or for the strength to endure. The valley of the shadow of death is our life, and with my Shepherd I shall fear no evil. All tribulations, Acedia to death itself, whatever your Goliath happens to be, all stand in the shadow of the almighty. Learn to walk and talk with your God, and remember, Sunday is coming.

3) Antirrhetic method-

Truly, this is one of my favorite methods of battling Acedia and its intrusive thoughts and feelings. Evagrius wrote an entire book dedicated to this subject titled Antirrhetikos, which is translated to contradiction, or “talking back.” The concept is modeled after the methods deployed by Christ in the desert against Satan, where a verse from scripture was utilized to confound the devil. This concept was later adopted by Saint Benedict in his “Rule.” Stating:

“When evil thoughts come into one’s heart, to dash them against Christ Immediately.”

Consider Psalm 137:8-9

“O daughter of Babylon, you devastator! Happy Shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock!”

Some unfortunately interpret this as pedicide against an enemy nation, as I once did. However, the traditional spiritual interpretation places Babylon as being the city of the devil, the rock is Christ. To dash the children of Babylon against the rock is to dash wicked thoughts against Christ as soon as they appear.

So, when the whispers or shouts of Acedia find their way to your mind, do not entertain them with a dance, cast them out upon the rock. I find strength in coupling this strategy with the remedy of prayer where I stated to walk and talk with God. I do not necessarily always recite scripture, often just an inaudible “Nope” (sometimes audible) with an implied understanding that I just gave the thought away for my Shepherd to discard. Essentially, I deploy the hermetic weapon called the mental law of neutralization, an act of mental alchemy. We either control our thoughts, especially the wicked ones, or they control us. We also need to recognize that not all feelings and thoughts are valid, these are learned skills that are acquired when building oneself whole. “Talking Back” is not on the path of least resistance, it requires choice and constant vigilance, the default path is the territory of Acedia and all of the hells that follow.

4) Meditation on Death

Our souls being immersed in the distractions of the everyday world is what most often prevents us from lifting our minds towards the world to come. We get so caught up in trivial things and the immediate sensations and demands of the material world around us that we tend to lose perspective. Thoughts of death are most often avoided until they can’t be. For most, including myself for portion of my life, when we think of death it arrives with the spirit of fear, accompanied by the many faces of Acedia. Acedia preys on our uncertainty, attempts to turn any mustard seeds of doubt into a forest of fear, all while challenging our Faith. Evagrius had this short saying in his “Eight Thoughts.”

Someone asked an old man “What do you do to avoid falling into Acedia?” He replied, “Every day I wait for Death.”

Twenty years ago, I would have considered this morbid, perhaps even an unhealthy mind set. In reality, procrastinating our thoughts of death make us susceptible to spiritual attacks from Acedia. If one is unprepared, it is then the contemplation becomes morbid, fearful, and depressive. Acedia can inject despair directly into our hearts, often causing us to flee… tucking thoughts of the end (as it seems) into a deep recess of the mind. Although, from that recess it grows, festers like a malignancy, re-emerging again when least expected, stronger. This creates a feedback loop, where each time we are presented with a more formidable opponent, especially as we age, incentivizing us to flee once again. Unlike other demons where fleeing is advocated for, as is the case with lust, fleeing Acedia only provides very temporary artificial relief. One cannot flee Acedia any more than one can flee their own chest, we must stand and deliver. This means we must not only come to terms with death, but we must also, as Evagrius put it, meditate on death. These meditations are an act of vigilance, reminding and prompting us to live and act with purpose. Thoughts on death give meaning to the passage of time, and recognition of its scarcity provides heightened vibrancy to all of life’s moments, causing us perhaps to love a little deeper and linger a while longer. Not living to “get things over with.” Also, while viewing death we are keeping an eye on God, with reminds us of the perspective that this is not the end, turning sadness into joy.

Similarly, Saint benedict in his “Rule”, said we needed “to keep death daily before one’s eyes”. He reminds us that any sufferings of the present time cannot be measured against the glory that awaits us. By meditating on death and choosing to trust in the promises of Christ, we disarm this aspect of the demon through vigilance and Faith. Essentially, it is learning to live in the presence of God, which becomes easier the more one learns how to walk and talk with him. But one must choose to do so. The good thing is, he is always waiting on us to come as we are.

5) Perseverance

This is the essential remedy promoted by Evagrius, to not give up or retreat. The Greek word used was Hypomone, meaning to display endurance and steadfastness. As mentioned previously, we cannot always control where we are or our circumstances, but we can affect who we are, wherever, or however that may be. One can see why perseverance would be essential for a desert monk, living a life of solitude and asceticism. Consider this passage from “Desert Fathers: Sayings”:

A brother said to Arsenius, “What shall I do, abba? My thoughts trouble me, ‘you cannot fast, nor work, nor visit the sick, because even these things are selfish’”.  He saw that the devil had put these thoughts in the brothers mind, and said, “Go, eat, drink and sleep, only do not leave your cell: remember that staying in the cell is what keeps a monk on the right path.”

And another:

A hermit was asked by his brother why, when he stayed in his cell, he suffered boredom. (Acedia) He answered, “You have not yet seen the resurrection for which we hope, nor the torment of fire. If you had seen these, then you would bear your cell without boredom even if it was filled with worms and you were standing in them up to your neck.”

For perseverance in the modern world, we need not retreat to a physical cell as did the desert fathers. In the previous discourse I discussed Kierkegaard’s three stages of life, the aesthetic, the ethical and the religious. It is in the latter two that the individual makes choices about their values, morality, and beliefs. If one can think of those choices, as being scaffolding for one’s life, metaphorically the walls of a cell we could say, our guardrails for living. Our cell does not need to be a physical room like that of the desert fathers, rather, our cell becomes a steadfast fidelity to our own rules of life. If we build our cell in such a way, encapsulated by the armor of God, we will find ourselves in a fiery stronghold that can withstand the devil Acedia, as well as its master.

Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

Ephesians 6:11

There are many others who have written on Acedia, but to do the subject complete justice would be to exceed the purposes of this essay. I do suggest exploring other writings on the subject to inform and arm yourself against this devastating demon. However, I am not going to retire this part of this essay just yet as I wish to mention just a few more things.

Section III

Saint Thomas Aquinas and reaching for Higher Things

Saint Thomas Aquinas (1224-1274) lived almost a millennia after Evagrius and the Desert Fathers, but he did not reference him in his work on Acedia, even though there are significant similarities between them, a testament to the timelessness of this demon. During Aquinas time, Evagrius was considered a heretic, and Aquinas was not well versed in Greek, so the chances are good that he did not know of him. Regardless, this did not hinder him from identifying this demon and discussing his own remedy. Saint Thomas provides two general definitions of Acedia which can be found in his most famous work, Summa Theologiae. The first; “sloth is sorrow for a spiritual good.” Thomas described it as being related to sadness, but a sadness about a spiritual good. Additionally, he describes it as the first sin against the joy that springs from charity. His second definition would be “disgust with activity”. This definition moves away from sadness about God to a sluggishness that hinders one from acting. Thomas also recognized that Acedia fractures the fundamental unity between morality and spirituality. Combining these definitions, we get: Acedia, sin against charity at the very heart of activity.

Side note: I hope the reader sees the similarities with the Desert Fathers who considered Acedia, who produces logismoi, as having a two-fold origin which aligns with the two-fold nature of man, the corporeal and the spiritual, making it very powerful. Saint Thomas also identifies this troubling intersection.

Considering this, one can see how these definitions converge. Essentially Acedia is a sin against charity in two ways which meet in reality. First, Acedia is a sin against the joy that springs from charity; a sadness about what should gladden us the most; participation in the very life of God. Secondly, Acedia is a sin against charity when it paralyzes activity, because then it affects the deepest motive force of activity, namely, charity, the participation of the holy spirit. Acedia is therefore a sin against charity in our spiritual dimension of union with God, of interpersonal communication with the Lord; but it is also a sin against charity at the very heart of our activity by preventing our activity of attaining its ultimate end. In this, one can see how truly dangerous Acedia is, and that it is not a state of mere sadness, melancholy, or sloth.

Due to this, some have labeled Acedia as a theological vice, since it directly affects our relationship to God, as it opposes the virtues of Fatih, Hope and Charity. For Saint Thomas, the definitive remedy for Acedia is the Incarnation of Christ. Consider these passages from his book Summa contra Gentiles:

First, then, let this be taken into consideration: The incarnation of God was the most efficacious assistance to man in his striving for beatitude. For we have shown in book III that the perfect beatitude of man consists in the immediate vison of God. It might, of course, appear to some that man would never have the ability to achieve this state: that the human intellect be united immediately to the divine essence itself as an intellect is to its intelligible: for there is an unmeasured distance between the natures. (Chapter 54 pg. 228)

Said another way, given the infinite distance between the nature of man and the nature of God, it may seem impossible that man could one day share the very life of God in heaven.

He continues:

Thus, in the search for beatitude, a man would grow cold, held back by very desperation (Acedia). But the fact that God was willing to unite to Himself personally points out to men with greatest clarity that man can be united to God by intellect and see him immediately.

It could be said, Acedia is a sin against Hope itself, particularly the hope of the promised land. We must remember:

For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

In our battles with Acedia, we must be mindful of the ambient nature of God, understanding that if we seek, we will find. But we must choose to follow our Good Shepherd. Consider this short story:

Imagine a small child standing beside a very tall piece of furniture, a dresser for example. On top of the dresser is the only remedy that will cure him of all his ills, present or future. Although this remedy is beyond the child’s reach, despite all his efforts, he will never be able to get to it. His Father, who loves his child very much, wants to give him this remedy because he knows that it is good for him. The father has two options: either he takes the remedy on the dresser and gives it to the child, or he lifts the child into his arms so the child can take the remedy himself. The first option shows much love; the father offers his child something that he could never have without him. But the second option shows even more love, by allowing the child to reach by himself for what he, in reality, is giving him quite gratuitously.

This story displays what Saint Thomas tries to tell us. God wants us to participate and to obtain by ourselves, up to a certain point, what in fact he gives us absolutely gratuitously. God calls us to collaborate in his work of salvation. God does not save us without us. All we must do is reach… with both feet. This is why we must live purposefully in order to have merit, for help, for grace, for mercy, for salvation. This labor cannot be delegated except for that which is the task of God.

I am the vine, ye are the branches; He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without me ye can do nothing.

John 15:5

                While there are many strategies to battle Acedia, we must be an active participant in all of them for Victory. Spiritual warfare is constant, not only in our hearts, but in the world at large. Like other paths that become easier to traverse after being worn with use, the fight gets easier the more one chooses to persevere with their participation. I spent far too long in my life after my bout with atheism (Acedia also fosters the temptation to doubt) with one foot in faith and the other one without, reaching for my remedy in vain. In a way, I was role playing the life of a Christian. My heart was heavy, and it silently wore despair like a garment. When I finally chose to fight back, to participate fully in my life, my salvation, I saw his face. It was then I began winning my fights against Acedia, perhaps these words can help you learn how to win against it as well.

Part III

The Inward Victory

Section I

El- Roi

(The God Who Sees Me)

                In Plato’s Allegory of the Chariot, he explains the tripartite nature of the human psyche. This chariot is pulled by two winged horses, one of which is mortal the other is immortal. The mortal horse is obstinate and deformed. He describes the horse as a “crooked lumbering animal, dark in color with grey eyes and a blood-red complexion; the mate of insolence and pride, shag-eared and deaf, hardly yielding to whip and spur.”  The second horse, the immoral one, is noble and true, “upright and cleanly made… his color is white, and his eyes dark; he is a lover of honor, modesty and temperance, and the follower of true glory; he needs no touch of the whip but is guided by word and admonition only.” Driving the horses is the charioteer, charged with reining the disparate steeds, guiding and harnessing them to propel the chariot with strength and purpose. The destination is the ridge of heaven, over which the driver may behold the Forms: essences of things such as Justice, Beauty, Wisdom, Goodness, and Courage. Pure knowledge and truth. These essences are what provides the horses with a lift in flight. In the allegory, the charioteer joins a procession of gods led by Zeus on this trip over the ridge. Unlike human souls, the gods’ horses are both immortal and are much easier to fly, without the turbulence of a mortal horse. While the white horse wishes to rise, the dark horse desires to pull the chariot back towards the earth. Pulling in divergent directions, the human driver struggles against the reins, attempting to get them in line. The chariot rises and falls as the struggle ensues, allowing the driver to catch glimpses over the ridge before falling again below the horizon. If the driver is able to behold the Forms, he gets to go on another revolution around the heavens, but if not, the wings of the horses’ wither from lack of nourishment causing them to crash into one another and fall to the earth. Consequently, the soul becomes embodied in human flesh.

The degree to which the soul falls, and the “rank” of the mortal being it must be embodied in, is based on the amount of Truth is beheld while in the heavens. Likewise, the degree of the fall determines how long it takes for the horses to regrow their wings and take flight once more. Essentially, the more truth beheld by the charioteer on their journey, the shorter the fall from grace, making it easier to regroup and begin to rise again. Plato describes this as looking “through the glass dimly.”

The charioteer represents man’s reason, the manifestation of our soul’s free will. The dark horse is that of our corporeal self, and the white horse, our spiritedness, or our spiritual selves.

The job of reason, with the assistance of the white horse, is to discern the best goals to pursue, and then to train his “horses” to work towards those goals. Naturally, for this to be the case, the driver must have vison and purpose, with a destination in mind. To achieve this, the charioteer must understand the nature and proclivities of his steeds if he wishes to harness them. The master charioteer does not ignore the desires of his steeds, nor does he permit them to run wild. He lets reason rule, identifies all of his desires, and from them selects his best and truest ones, those that lead to virtue and truth, and guides the horses towards them. Achieving this harmony of the soul, Plato argues, is a precursor to tackling any other endeavor of life:

“Having first attained to self-mastery and beautiful order within himself, and having harmonized these three principles, the notes or intervals of three terms, quite literally the lowest, the highest, and the mean, and all others there may be between them, and having linked and bound all three together and made of himself a unit, one man instead of many, self-controlled and in unison, he should then and then only turn to practice if he find ought to do either in the getting of wealth or the tendance of the body or it may be in political action or private business, in all such doings believing and naming the ‘just and honorable action to be that which preserves and helps to produce this condition of the soul”

Plato continues:

“The foundational nature of gaining mastery over ones soul is the chief reason why it should be our main concern for each of us, neglecting all other studies, should seek after and study this thing- if in any way he may be able to learn of and discover the man who will give him the ability and the knowledge to distinguish the life that is good from that which is bad, and always and everywhere to choose the best that the conditions allow.”

For a person who has labored to build themselves whole, having broken and trained their own steeds, for the one that has chosen to make such a pursuit his goal, to guide his actions and thoughts “will gladly take part in and enjoy those things which he thinks will make him a better man, but in public and private life he will shun those that may overthrow the established habits of his soul”.

In this way, we should learn to make ourselves and stand firm in that creation, defending our “established habits of our soul” both in the light of day as well as in the darkness, when no one else is watching except for our God.

Life is difficult, it should never be thought of as an easy task, nor should one attempt to foster a false hope inside themselves of a life of endless summers. Life being temporal, presents itself in seasons, and there is a time for all things, including death. We are all born into the same world, and we all have our own chariots to drive and horses to break. I have battled with many demons, the motivators of my dark horse, pride, envy, anger, and of course, my nemesis Acedia. While I do not claim to be Plato’s master charioteer, I have seen glimpses of this ridge of heaven, as Plato said, “through the glass dimly”, enough so that I know it to be there and that is my goal.

Yet, Acedia remains present, pulling at my reins, pulling me towards Earth, as one of its many faces is a sin against memory, for it causes one to forget about God. Whether or not we have these wicked intrusive thoughts of Acedia is not within our power, but it is for us to decide whether they are to linger within us or not and whether or not they stir up our passions. This is my internal Armageddon, against my own logismoi, as I strive to be the captain of my own soul. While there is also the external Armageddon and the attacks it solicits, tempting one to engage in sloth and apathy, my victory over Acedia draws near with the help of my constant companion. Against most of its volleys, I win more than I lose, and it is getting easier.

Imagine your spirit is a campfire and the encroaching darkness is Acedia. Much like the charioteer must hold the reins, constant tending of the fire end rekindling keeps the darkness at bay. Fidelity to the cell you have built is how you keep the flame lit so I have found. Above all, Acedia manifests itself as a temptation against this fidelity, a perpetual force akin to gravity, pulling me down to Earth and away from heavenly things.

However, undoubtedly there will be more challenges and tribulations in my life as that is the nature of a fallen world. Understanding this, and coming to terms with it, is a major component of living a better life. Too many people tend to think circumstances determine the quality of their lives, they feel happy when things turn out as they hoped and sad or frustrated when they don’t. Rarely do they question the correlation between circumstances and feelings, hence why it is not only important for one to educate their emotions but learning to embrace the possibility for one to be content in any situation. Although this is demonstrably one of life’s greatest challenges, it is the path over the ridge. 

To achieve this state, all of the stitching of our former selves must come out, to be unraveled for our true selves, our master charioteer to emerge. As one shapes a mold of clay, we must pursue the unfolding of our soul, the essence of our free will. This is what I have come to understand as I interpret much of the Bible as a spiritual history, a path of salvation through Christ, using elements of real history metaphorically. Our material body is crucified, and our spiritual body rises. The soul must be unfolded, manifested through free will by conscious imagination, separating it from our corporeal selves, prepping it for the quantum leap over the ridge. To condense this idea for brevity, I view the body as a cocoon, if tended appropriately, the soul becomes an eternal butterfly. 

Nothing I say is in a vacuum, other writings provide further context and depth, for this subject in particular, pursuing the path of making oneself whole was described in the Edification of Marriage. A process, much like becoming a master charioteer, is necessary for a personal relationship with God. As mentioned in that Discourse, as it relates to real alchemical marriage, I stated that it must be cultivated constantly by refreshing and rekindling the various forms of expression. Likewise, we must constantly cultivate our defenses against Acedia, maintain the love of life, live above circumstances, and find divinity in every moment by walking and talking with God. The relationship with God is also like an alchemical marriage, God waits with arms wide open, but knowing him takes active participation.

This alchemical participation can be thought of in the example provided earlier where the father lifted up his child so they may reach the object of need on their own. The fundamental difference between an alchemical relationship with God and that of your spouse; the former is everlasting, and the latter is a flawed charioteer like us.

Saint Paul tells Timothy “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.” (2Timothy 2:13)

I am a flawed charioteer, a sinner, and I will struggle with these facts until I breath life no further. Yet, I have and walk by faith, which is a state of perpetual desire for things unseen. I also have Hope, which is an anchor for my soul, that helps me resist the tides of Acedia, the ebb and flow of its arrival. Victory in this struggle called life requires perseverance in these things called Faith and Hope, and effective perseverance requires a confident abandonment to Gods plan for me. Surrendering my trust to God is maintained by vigilance. This is what I have chosen by my own free will, choosing God to help me build my cell.

Although, while the mystery calls to all of us, we are all inclined to doubt, driven to seek rational answers in an irrational world. Tempting us to stray as we traverse our own desert. Couple that with the external battles, we find ourselves in the tower of Babel looking at one another for answers. In this world, the word of God is obfuscated more so than any other, causing division, strife, and disbelief. It has led to wars, genocide, and countless lost souls. These truths often drive people away, including myself for a time, as power corrupts even our most sacred of ideas.

While very serious, most of these consequences due to their bluntness throughout history, do not require significant explanation for those who have considered. However, it is often the subtle, flowery, perhaps even well intended obfuscations that have the most insidious effects. Consider this short passage from Albert Camus, author of “The Myth Of Sisyphus” , where he explored the concept of the absurd, the idea that life is inherently meaningless. While I disagree with many of his conclusions in several of his works, he was brilliant and provides perspective:

“In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that… In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger- something better, pushing right back.”

The passage is beautifully articulated, but his presupposition is incorrect. Clearly, he hears the call of the mystery, but he identifies the promulgator of the internal invincible summer as being a product of his own internal creation. This is akin to rejecting Plato’s allegory, claiming man has two immortal steeds, or that the father is not necessary to reach the top of the dresser. All along, Camus misinterpreted the footprints in the sand for they were not his. His rhetoric and others like it, is convincing to many. Yet, they neglect to consider the one axiomatic aspect of life: It is inherently intelligent. There is a design that calculates, creates, adapts, and grows. While I have gone on about this elsewhere, one need look no further than our own immune system to understand there is an intelligence far greater than our own governing the cosmos. We do not self-generate within ourselves an invincible summer any more than we command our hearts to beat or our bodies to maintain countless mechanisms to sustain life.

This is what it all boils down to, a choice. Camus and many others may choose to believe the universe is chaos, and full of randomness. It is, demonstrably not so. Yet, that still does not resolve the question, does it? Where is our scientific certainty?  Where is our God? There it is, the final temptation to doubt. Can I believe what I cannot see? Can I have Hope in a mystery of things not fully understood? We must make this choice for ourselves, and I have made mine. With both feet.

My sheep hear my voice and I know them, and they follow me.

John 10:27

I believe the mystery informs me that there is a love that precedes me and calls to me; a love that is immortal and outside of time, everlasting. I depend upon that certainty, that love, to remain faithful. This abode of fidelity is not somewhere else, far over the ridge, at a distance, spatial or temporal, rather it is here where I find myself in this moment writing. In order to maintain it, I must persevere in my Faith, Faith in God who calls me by my name and who leads me Himself, as long as I do not refuse to trust my life to Him.

In Genesis 16, we meet the Egyptian slave Hagar, who while in the desert encountered God. She addressed him as El-Roi, which is Hebrew for the “God who sees me”. I have walked through the desert, and I can tell you that I know God sees me… and you… whoever you are, presenting to all of us, without qualifiers, an abundance of Love and Forgiveness for all who so chooses. This choice requires joyful perseverance, as joy is the unerring criterion, a spiritual barometer that directs us concerning our spiritual life. It is said that sadness is looking at oneself, while joy is looking at God.

If we approach God with a humble and teachable spirit, we will find that our constant companion will show us how to reach for higher things. We must participate in building our cell, but this is the work of a carpenter, and we are only mere apprentices… as there is only one master. The master carpenter, Jesus, symbolized the ultimate Alpha Sigma male in its purest and noblest expression. Powerfully capable of leading people’s hearts to his cause, yet incomparably kind to all people, whether they loved him or hated him, and indescribably humble and loyal to God. We should all strive to be Christ-like, for it is not only a path to a better life, it is the path.

My advice, surrender yourself fully to the adventure of increasing your attentiveness to Gods presence. He is ambient. Give God a sacrifice every day, particularly that of your TIME.  Stop and rest in his presence, internalize the ambient nature, and learn to walk and talk with him. Above all, you do not need to understand God to love him. Or believe. Either way, he loves you and is always waiting for a Hello.

Section II

Striving for Magnanimity

“The first source of the noonday demon (Acedia) is a lack of magnanimity – a quite forgotten virtue that is based on the correct view of the dignity of our human vocation; the man who claims to be a realist, refuses to believe that he is destined to live in God and with God. Thus, despair arises from a hatred of man, and this hatred often assumes the form of a supposedly scientific reduction of his humanity to the animal state:  man is an ape that walks upright. In deep ecology, this hatred is even more radical and becomes an attitude of self-punishment whereby man, guilty of tyranny with regard to nature, repairs the wrong committed against it by accepting his own destruction.”

From the “Noonday Devil” by Jean Charles Nault

                My inward journey consisted of the process of building myself whole and fostering defenses against the demons that chase me on a daily basis. In particular I have focused on the assaults of Acedia and the various defenses I have come to know, including the Armor of God I have chosen to wear.

Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

Ephesians 6:11

However, as it was with the story of the child reaching for higher things, we must also participate in this warfare, and we do not always need to be on the defensive. Striving for the virtue of magnanimity provides us with offensive capabilities against Acedia, against “the wiles of the devil.” 

As mentioned by Nault, magnanimity is a “quite forgotten virtue” in our present epoch. This sentiment is echoed by Pope Benedict XVI who has said that “modern man does not have the courage to attain this as he wants to be more ‘realistic.’ Metaphysical inertia would on this account be identical with that false humility that has become so common today; man does not want to believe that God is concerned about him, knows him, loves him, watches over him, is close to him.” While I do not often find myself in agreement with organized religion or their associated public mouthpieces, this is indeed a topic I find agreement on. Although, in our modern world it might be unfair to say it is due to a lack of courage, for the modern mind has been captured by mass society. It is not like the catholic church is unfamiliar with society building, so I am sure the Pope understands modern man is designed to be the antithesis of magnanimous. This antithesis according to Saint Thomas, is one of the daughters of Acedia, a form of faint-heartedness known as Pusillanimity, which is the vice opposed to the virtue of magnanimity, known as the greatness of soul. Thomas believed this is the inability to believe in the greatness of the vocation to which God is calling us, to become sharers in the divine nature. 

As I will discuss in more detail in the next section, the greatness of the human vocation is not isolated to the individual human life, it extends to all of society, so that it may be truly free and human. Consider this excerpt:

“A society that turns what is specifically human into something purely private… will of its nature be sorrowful, a place of despair; it rests on a diminution of human dignity. A society whose public order is consistently determined by agnosticism is not a society that has become free but a society that has despaired, marked by the sorrow of man who was fleeing God and in contradiction with himself.”

From: “To Look on Christ” by Ratzinger

One can see how the current world can be characterized by a form of cultural acedia, as it has seeped into its very marrow, festering a general rot of decay, causing the modern man to find himself lost, searching for a soul. Mass man either think they are not worthy of God or that God simply does not exist. Either way, it causes one to reach for meaning, or they embrace a form of meaninglessness or the absurd. While acedia has been ever present in human life, the modern incarnation has had a devastating affect on human culture to a degree never seen in known history. This of course has been fostered by weak men who operate the levers of society to satisfy their own agendas, capturing power and truth while dispensing illusions and lies for mass consumption. While history is not short of Machiavellian stereotypes, the balance between the noble and depraved has never been so great. We do not have men and women of virtue in the public square to any measurable degree, offering edification in all things, but this has not always been the case.

One of my favorite characters from history is that of Dr. John Witherspoon who was instrumental during Americas founding. Prior to coming to North America, Witherspoon spent a career engaging in pastoral ministry in his native Scotland. Eventually, he became President of the College of New Jersey from 1768 until he died in 1794. (The name was later changed to Princeton) During his commencement addresses, he would preach a message that would be wholly foreign to modern ears:

“My single purpose from these words at this time, is to explain and recommend magnanimity as a Christian Virtue.”

In our present age, while politics is a spectacle of kayfabe, politicians and public figures berate perceived opposition (framed as such), with crude language and conduct themselves with a high degree of petulance. It is often said our politicians reflect society, although in our hyperreality the effect is also the opposite, society emulates and mimics what it sees, and what is sees is manufactured. However, it is beneficial to perpetuate the idea that there is a “democratic” connection where representatives are… representative and reflect some measure of the will of the governed. Although, this is not how the world actually works as I have described elsewhere. Witherspoon would have not tolerated the weak men of our age, but then again men like Witherspoon do not find themselves in public positions for that very reason.

Witherspoon considered the virtue of magnanimity to be associated with true manliness, not to be conflated with that of the toxic variant that is often conjured in modern parlance. Although, in many modern circles, the magnanimous man is often considered toxic, which again is a symptom of mass design. But I will discuss that further in the next part.

While magnanimity is certainly not a unique trait to men, I personally feel that manhood void of magnanimity is highly lamentable. Consider the following scripture:

Watch ye, stand fast in Faith, act like men, be strong.

-1 Corinthians 16:13

The Apostle Paul was encouraging the Corinthians to not only have courage and Faith, but he was also embracing the notion that fortitude in the face of opposition is what we associate with manliness.

Note: As mentioned, women can most certainly be magnanimous. To my daughters: Live courageously and do not fall for the modern trappings presenting the female pneuma as inferior. Women after all are the creators of life, a beautiful act that inherently takes courage and strength. However, I implore you to hold high in your mind the virtue of magnanimity in men, for its absence leads to both broken homes and broken nations. It is also the best offense against Acedia, for individuals, and for the cultural Acedia that plagues the modern world.

According to Witherspoon, the virtue of magnanimity requires five commitments.

1)      Attempting great and difficult things

2)      Aspiring after great and valuable possessions

3)      Facing dangers with resolution

4)      Struggling against difficulties with perseverance.

5)      Bearing sufferings with fortitude and patience.

Essentially, he believed that we should attempt great things while enduring great hardships. But he was concerned that some people would not interpret this as being compatible with the gospel, but he insisted that virtues can never be inconsistent with one another. He believed that while the gospel would have us mourn our sins and cultivate a humility of spirit, we are also “called to live and act for the Glory of God and the good of others.” He also believed that a truly pious man, while striving for greatness, will seek to gain possessions more valuable than earthy riches.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:21

While Christianity is not opposed to ambition, it does take a different form for a Christian life. Witherspoon said “...everyone must acknowledge, that ostentation and love of praise, and whatever is contrary to the self-denial of the gospel, tarnish the beauty of the greatest actions.” True greatness needs no introduction, it does not reside in self-promotion or endless bravado. Similarly, manliness does not mean we must be larger than life heroes, as there is more than one way to be brave and many ways to be strong. Not everyone is physically or mentally gifted, nor have the opportunity for an act of heroism, but that does not exclude them from true manliness or from being magnanimous. Consider the following:

“…magnanimity, which is the fruit of true religion, being indeed the product of divine grace, is a virtue of the heart and may be attained by persons of mean talents and narrow possessions and in the very lowest stations of human life.”

Just like Christ, the virtue of magnanimity is accessible to all who strive for it, who choose it. This virtue is formed by two parts, which are inherently inseparable, as its existence is not only measured by what one does, but by what one does not do. The magnanimous person does not need to settle every score, does not bathe in self-pity, hold grudges, or demand penance. The magnanimous Christian should strive to be more like David pardoning Shimei instead of the sons of Zeruiah, looking for the next enemy to execute. We should bear our burdens, our cross, abstain from meanness, set an example to those around us of gratitude, fortitude, and noble generosity. This is not just a more stable and effective way to live, it is the way of the cross. The virtue of magnanimity is the way of Christ, who accomplished great things by defeating his enemies even while proclaiming “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”  (Luke 23:24) 

As it was during the time of the Romans, mass society does indeed not know what it does, but to be clear, some certainly do. This external battle for the modern Christian will be addressed in the next part, but as one can and will see, the virtue of magnanimity is not only an excellent offense to the wiles of Acedia during our internal spiritual warfare, our internal Armageddon, it is also the spear and sword to accompany the Armor of God in our dealings with the external world and the external Armageddon. This is the path of Christ, the path of Victory.

Part IV

The Outward Battle

Section I

Modern Desert Fathers

“The fathers of the church were not afraid to go out into the desert because they had richness in their hearts. But we, with richness all around us, are afraid because the desert is in our hearts.”

Franz Kafka

                In the Odyssey, Homes introduces a mystical tribe known as the Lotus eaters. This society embraced a particular singular custom, the cultivation and consumption of the lotus fruit. Odysseus’ men had become “captured by the eating habits of the local tribe, losing their desire to return to their homeland. Upon eating the Lotus, the individual developed a sense of carelessness, forgetfulness, the loss of will, and a general sinking into oblivion.

It must be understood that this Lotus fruit, metaphorically, is the manifestation of the demon Acedia, capturing all who consume it with sloth, forgetfulness, and carelessness.

Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep and an idle soul shall suffer hunger.

Proverbs 19:15

The hunger produced by Acedia, the lotus fruit, causes those captured by it to keep returning to the source of their ailment in search of a remedy. Consuming. Despair. Consuming.  This understanding regarding the power of this version of the forbidden fruit, how it captivates the mind and spirit of those who consume it, was what Homer was attempting to warn his (their) readers of. Homer teaches us to not lose perspective of one’s ambitions and our moral integrity as human beings by indulging in the snubs and whims of the society in which we live.

Yet, Homers warning became an early blueprint for those who sought to manage the population in which they ruled over. The grimore provided for the weaponization of Acedia, which can be understood through studying its evolution beginning with the Roman Ludi, the public games that were presented on behalf of the cult of the state. These “games” reached their height during the imperial era when more than a third of the days of the year were spent engaging in circus and theatrical performances. 

“The evil was not in the bread and circuses, per se, but in the willingness of the people to sell their rights as free men for full bellies and the excitement of the games which would serve to distract them from the other human hungers which bread and circuses can never appease.”

-Marcus Tullius Cicero

In the early days of the Ludi, they were often held in concert with various religious festivals, often becoming the primary feature. Frequently the Ludi were equated to worshipping pagan gods, which caused the early church fathers to advise adherents to not participate. It was during this time the exodus of what became known as the desert fathers escalated, as the religion they worshipped began to evolve into the state church of the Roman empire. One can say the Ludi helped foment the group psychology of equating the state and God in mass society, evolving from Caesaropapism to the divine right of kings over the next millennia and a half. The evolution of blending the political and social power of secular government with religious power became the primary bulwark of controlling civilization and protecting power on behalf of the elite of the age.

The modern iteration of the Ludi exists not one in three days, but 365 days per year, twenty-four hours per day, seven days per week. The spectacle of the hyperreality is an unrelenting assault on the senses. Furthermore, it has not only distanced itself from the old religions, it has replaced those symbols with inverted meanings while maintaining a new version of the cult of the state, but where mass society formation is still perpetrated by a relatively few elites.

Consequently, since real power most often wears a mask, and it maintains a nebulous diaspora; at least a few of the ancestors of the promulgators of the original bread and circus of the Roman empire remain in positions of true authority in a modern global empire that is operated by supranational organizations forming an international cryptocracy.

This uncomfortable truth must be viewed through the lens of the stoic philosophy regarding the dichotomy of control, which emphasizes the distinction between things that are within our control and things that are not. This is outside of our control as individuals, especially when most of society are engorged on the Lotus fruit and have neither the time nor desire to care that the world is not as it seems.

But “Are you not entertained?”, as spoken by the fictional character Maximus Decimus Meridius, speaking a truth about our own modern commedia della arte. A modern Christian must understand the modern bread and circus as it really is, much in the way the desert fathers did, or they risk becoming captured by its consumption, distracted into the role play of a spectator in both their public and private lives. As I will discuss later, this is how mass society formation promulgates performance-based Christianity, where many adherents embrace the sign over the signified, while also making it possible for what is “signified” to become malleable by narrative managers.

In continuing the pivot to the modern world and of the global civilization of Lotus eaters, I would like to revisit a paragraph from Discourse 4:

“Mass society by design puts its captives in limbo, addicted to the aesthetic stage of life, while determining the ethical for you and negating the spiritual or religious. While structuring the crowd is not an historically new concept, over a century ago it became hyperbolic as social engineers began learning how to scientifically manage society by weaponizing both the physical and mental body against you, turning it into an extension of the conditioning apparatus of mass society. Dopamine traps, subliminal messaging, algorithmic grooming and many other forms of incentivized hedonism and collectivization, presents challenges that augment the already difficult task of managing what I call original sin. Therefore, it becomes even more difficult for people to see the path to building themselves whole. Individuals become stuck, nay, designed, to be in the default statistical standard, role-playing the life of a human being, living in sin, unaware of their slumbering free will. Mass society fosters only the will to obey, war is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength. This is the default state of the modern human.”

While it is true that this is the post-truth epoch, which is a complete abandonment of the objective truth in the public space, it is also true that mass society from its current inception dating back into antiquity has resided in a false truth state. It has been known since before Homer that humans were story telling creatures, narrative define us, to both ourselves as well as the world in which we live. Having the power to control the narrative that defines these stories, including the ability to eliminate narratives, provides those with the power to supplant truth with a good story. After all, we prefer a pleasant lie to a difficult truth.

A well-versed mind should grok that knowledge and perception have always been guarded by the intelligencia of the elite of the age, people are conditioned into their truth, often measuring the authenticity of it by how it makes them feel, truth promulgated by limbic triggers, while simultaneously developing a sour taste, even hostility, towards objective truth. The biggest difference from antiquity to the present day is the primary location of the fight, as now the battle space is located inside of our own minds instead of being openly compelled by force. Consider the follow quote by former C.I.A. Director William Casey in 1981:

“We will know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false.”

To be clear, this capture of truth was achieved long before 1981 in America as well as most of the western and industrialized world, but the invasiveness of it has certainly expanded. Furthermore, at no point in time should it be assumed that the dominant public narrative is truthful, quite the opposite. We live in a hyperreality, which uses particular truthful elements to shape a false narrative, a false reality, including the filtering of all public disclosures. This concept is discussed in Guy Debord’s 1967 “The Society of the Spectacle” and was later expanded by Baudrillard’s Simulacra Theory, where perceived reality is shaped and altered by the significations and symbolism of culture and media, thus providing the ability to Frame mass society’s understanding of our shared Human existence to whatever is desired. The computer age, and as it continues to advance, has leveled up the previous conditioning apparatuses dramatically.

However, understanding these things will not necessarily lead one towards truth in the world, rather, it will arm you to be more apt to determine what is not true by fully comprehending the words of Edwin Forrest who stated “All the worlds a state and all the men and women are merely players.” We must study and cultivate our technical understanding of these words, including the ramifications of their truth. Just like an actual theatrical performance, this cyclorama creates its own useful hero’s and antagonists. These can come in the form of a revolutionary politician, a popular public figure with a pre-built, or pre-existing platform, or it could be a social movement fully funded and structured like many fifth-generation war programs. I like to think of these leviathan antagonists as agents of dissent management, but naturally these agents do not actually threaten the theatre of the Ludi any more than a villain in a movie threatens your television. They merely represent a structured anti-thesis to the current thesis, all of which are either managed or pre-planned, and are all in agreeance with or help advance the objectives of the leviathan. With all of that being said, I have seen people get close to exiting the stage of the theatre only to be consumed by one of these Manchurian controlled opposition schemes, that foster useful thought architecture. I have fallen into this trap in the past, but that was before I recognized the simulacrum. While now I can hear the carnival laughter that most others cannot, I do not possess the keys for another to find quick comprehension of the spectacle. It is not the default state of course, nor is it part of a heightened imagination, but one can arrive at the same place with a honest and deliberate attempt to understand the truth as it is most often not hidden or occult. (although some things are) It is mostly now a numbers game and does not require a full buy in by society to maintain its ruse.

However, the following is what I can directly offer in regard to the modern Ludi where thinking has been outsourced to the collective by intellectual sloth, fostered by the scientific weaponization of Acedia:

I used to think I needed to recognize evil to defeat it, which is a useful thought architecture for the hyperreality, as it often conditions us into what it wants us to think is evil. But this is not so. Evil is a chameleon, its rhetoric arrives as flowery consequentialism, a trolly problem for the soul. If we are not whole and are on an external path, we will react to evil, letting it redefine our foundation and “greater good” as we go. Think “current thing” psychology as a reference point, a form of pied piper of thought. However, if working to be whole on an internal path, with a fixed point, such evil must revolve around you instead of transmutating us to its will, all one needs to do is to let it go, disregard it. Of course, one must not delegate their considerations of things in order to do this.

In addition to the hyperreality, which is full of manipulative uncertainty and information overload which help maintain its aura, modern life is inherently more solitary. People live in networks more than real communities, and networks are often artificial or based upon mere relationships of convenience. Also, due to the dissolving community living, people do not communicate face to face as we used to. The distance between physical bodies cannot be negated by the digital ether. This is the alchemy of a real hug from your mother versus an emoji text. As Marchall McLuhan said “The medium is the message.” The physical presence of the Human element communicates what the simulation cannot, nor can it ever in our burgeoning post-human world. This new medium for interpersonal relationships, now coupled with the rise of artificial intelligence, is further unmooring the human element, causing it to become adrift in the doldrums of conditioning and propaganda. The human mind perhaps, has never been so vulnerable, nor has the Human soul.

As mentioned in Discourse 4, due to technological advancements we have delegated our primary labor to mass society, that of cultivating and harvesting sustenance, leaving only our considerations to tend to. Many still have abandoned these, as Acedia also presents itself dressed in garments of convenience. The delegation of thought to the masses removes the burden while leaving the Lotus eater captivated by a culture that remains in a perpetual frenzy for novelty, a perpetual desire for change.  This culture has steered mass society far from Christ, instead adherents’ worship at the alter of convenience, or as we will discuss later, they worship their own performance, role playing at Christianity.

Acedia returns again, driving the temptation of nihilism which leads to a general spiritual depression that hangs over society like a thick blanket of smog. Lingering Hope gets re-directed into obsessive nostalgia, like an endless chain of movie remakes and sequels, hopelessness creeps into our seams as a longing for days gone by to return that most likely never existed to begin with. The golems we call politicians play on this dichotomy of either looking forward (Obama & Clinton campaigns) or backwards (Make America Great Again) but never in the present, leaving one to justify whatever means to get to the desired end, either forward or backward. Of course, this is a game to not get caught up in, both directions lead to the same place as designed, the only way to win is to not play.

“It was apparent that materialism was in complete control of the economic structure, the final objective of which was for the individual to become part of a system providing an economic security at the expense of the Human soul, mind and body.”

-Manly P. Hall

Today, the Lotus fruit can be represented by consumerism, where society has become captured by the “next thing” in a tide of rising expectations. The Ludi drives narratives of ideological optimism with statements such as ...” today science does not know, but someday it will” or “technology cannot do it yet, but in the future...”, this form of optimism is an ersatz hope. True Hope surprises, surpasses immediate expectations and possibilities, it is the promise of a gift beyond our present capacities. This inferior substitute for the real thing is why society has a hunger that cannot be satisfied by the Lotus, consuming at frenzy to fill the loneliness and the gaping hole inside of themselves, forgetting about their true homeland, the hope of the promised land to come. This is the nation of authentic Hope, as Christ said in John Chapter 18 Verse 36, “My Kingdom is not of this World.” Likewise, earth is not our homeland, nor should our hope reside in our own designs. Our society of Lotus eaters, including many Christians, find themselves like Odysseus’ men, sinking into Oblivion.

Again, this is outside of our individual control, but it must be recognized and understood so one can avoid its trappings. A modern Christian must view this world as a desert and learn to take the pilgrimage in their own heart. We must resist external identities or let doubt set in from the arrows of those who consider faith to be the territory of intellectual neanderthals. It must matter not what they think. Stand firm with magnanimity. Make your choice and stand up to you Goliath.

But first, in order to connect to God, an individual must identify with themselves, as a relationship is only possible if personal. In the vein of “have no other Gods before me” , identifying oneself with external material things, including the characteristics of the physical body such as skin color, sex, height, weight, which are only descriptive of “what” you are and not “who” you are,  all cause separation between man and God. Likewise, the secular religion of the modern world identifies one with the collective, including identity politics, is also a wedge in that relationship. These external identities are tempting as they alleviate the consequences of consciousness, the deep fear of being alone. Belonging to a group in this sense artificially quells the loneliness that should be quenched by real authentic interpersonal relationships, but it should be primarily addressed by the existential concept of Faith, the highest and most essential passion of the Human soul. Unfortunately, many of us do not prioritize this spiritual passion of faith as we should, instead we allow ourselves to be defined by other passions that are introduced by circumstances or environment, including those produced for us by the hyperreality.

However, if one chooses, as I have, this personal relationship to the self, building and embracing who we are, opens the door for a relationship with Christ. Couple that with the cultivation of the skill of Faith over time, one can defeat the nihilism that is at the root of modern society, as you will sit above it with higher things.

Learn to mind not the society of Lotus eaters, for they are akin to a closed pasture of domesticated cattle, there will not be a coup against the farmer, but some will dream of freedom all the way to the slaughterhouse. Instead, cultivate the richness in your heart and walk through the desert without fear by walking and talking with God. The only real freedom in this life is one lived with Jesus Christ. We can testify and bear witness, but society cannot be saved until it discovers its chest.

Section II

Society Without Chests

“In a sort of ghastly simplicity, we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtues and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.”

-C. S. Lewis from “The Abolition of Man”

This is often interpreted as though Lewis was saying that modern society creates men who are lacking virility and then it complains about the lack of “manly men”. While this is certainly true even more so in 2024, it is not what Lewis was speaking of, he was approaching something far deeper, closer to the root. Lewis was not describing the loss of manly virtue, rather he was describing the loss of the mechanisms that produce this type of virtue, along with all of the others. “Chest” does not mean a form of literal or metaphorical scaffolding of masculinity, but that of sentiment. His lamentation is that modern society makes men without heart.

Most of the world’s religions and schools of philosophical thought recognize that there is an underlying natural order to the world, truth is what most clearly explains and reflects this reality. To uphold this “doctrine of objective value”, is to believe that “certain attitudes are really true, and others really false, to the kind of thing the universe is and the kind of things we are.” Lewis felt that the Chinese concept of Tao best describes this:

“It is the reality beyond all predicates… it is nature, it is the way, the road. It is the way in which the universe goes on, the way in which things everlastingly emerge, stily and tranquilly, into space and time. It is also the way which every man should tread in imitation of that cosmic and supercosmic progression, conforming all activities to that great exemplar.”

People, places, events (including supported foreign & domestic political policies) all exist within the objective reality of nature, and since certain things possess objective value, all are subject to varying degrees of esteem, respect, or condemnation. Lewis continues:

“Until modern times all teachers and even all men believed the universe to be such that certain emotional reactions on our part could be either congruous or incongruous to it- believed, in fact, that objects did not merely receive, but could merit our approval or disapproval, our reverence or our contempt.”

Considering the value of things are objective, they should stimulate certain reactions from us. A kind act should elicit gratitude. The deaths of a friend’s mother should elicit feelings of empathy. The mountains, the vast ocean, should elicit a feeling of humility; the sight of children should elicit a feeling of joy. Our emotional responses and inclinations are partly automatic, built out of the concept I have framed as biological natural law, but our sentiments also have to be intentionally educated in order to be congruent with nature. This education teaches us to evaluate to what degree things are true, just, good, and beautiful, as well as what type of affection is merited from us. Throughout antiquity up until a few centuries ago, this training was considered central to one’s development, that is until education became available and promulgated to the masses, which the new version of education became intentionally void of the education of the sentiments, among other things, making pupils pliable to conditioning and propaganda. Lewis continues:

“Saint Augustine defines virtue as ‘ordo amoris’, the ordinate condition of the affections in which every object is accorded that kind of degree of love which is appropriate to it. Aristotle says that the aim of education is to make the pupil like and dislike what he ought… Plato before him had said the same. The little Human animal will not at first have the right responses. It must be trained to feel pleasure, liking, disgust, and hatred at those things which really are pleasant, likeable, disgusting and hatful.”

The man who does not show gratitude for a gift, thinks attending a funeral is too much hassle, or finds indifference to the sufferings of others shows the lack of this kind of education of the sentiments.  Since Lewis wrote “The Abolition of Man”, we have only seen these insufficiencies grow, as society is conditioned into a state of infantilization which produces grown children instead of adult men and women with chests. To this I agree with Lewis when he said, “I myself do not enjoy the society of small children.”

By the time this conditioning apparatus entered the 20^th century, it had already begun transforming the collective consciousness of mass society into viewing a world that did not have a natural order and that things do not possess an objective value which demand certain responses. Instead, people brought their own feelings to objects, and these feelings are what gave the objects their value, which made it much easier to condition sentimentality towards the materialistic. Instead of teaching students both known and considered facts, as well as educating the sentiments, students now are only taught “facts” alone, as absolutes, including what to think about them. Scientism had been fostered, but it is not what people think in common parlance. Science should have questions that cannot be answered instead of answers that cannot be questioned. Due to this particular form of spell craft, we have entered into a new phase of medical Lysenkoism while individual considerations on all science are delegated to an expert class who determines what constitutes a fact. But thoughts on science aren’t all that have been captured.

The excuse for this shift was that it made students more susceptible to the emotional sway of propaganda, but in reality, it made them more malleable to it, as it atrophied not only their capacity for virtue, but their capacity for free will, with both being supplanted by delegation to group think of the crowd. With narrative managers having the ability to control thought of the crowd with institutional conditioning such as the public school system and the expanding technological apparatuses such as the radio and television, and later the expansion of the computer age with algorithmic grooming, any actions by the state could be made to be perceived as justifiable. As I have mentioned, both our physical and mental bodies have been weaponized against us. On this Lewis continues:

“No justification of Virtue will enable a man to be virtuous. Without the aid of trained emotions, the intellect is powerless against the animal organism. I had sooner play cards against a man who was quite skeptical about ethics but bred to believe that ‘a gentleman does not cheat’ than against an irreproachable moral philosopher who had been brought up among sharpers. In battle it is not (logical) syllogisms that will keep the reluctant nerves and muscles to their post in the third hour of the bombardment. The crudest sentimentalism… about a flag or a country or a regiment will be of more use.”

Lewis compared this to the previously mentioned “Allegory of the Chariot”, where Plato discussed the challenges of a mortal charioteer. Unfortunately, as a society we have been too easily conditioned to give up the reins, as it is too burdensome to reach for higher things, leaving society to fall to its default state, back down to earth among the material world. Lewis continues:

“The head rules the belly through the chest- the seat of the emotions organized by trained habit into stable sentiments… these are indispensable liaison officers between cerebral man and visceral man. It may even be said that it is by this middle element that man is man: for by his intellect his is mere spirit and by his appetite mere animal.”

Consequently, when society stopped emphasizing and educating the sentiments, as well as fostering a good moral sense, it produced men without chests, men without real feelings, without spiritedness or magnanimity, without heart. Leaving little to resist the tyrannical depravity.

To the reader, my daughters, do not despair over the fall of society, after all this is a fallen world. While I have hoped in my life to contribute to a large change in the world, I have come to understand this is beyond my control. The system is built to resist such revolutionaries, and it is indeed being navigated into the doldrums it now resides in. What is within our control is how we react to it, as well as what standards we set for ourselves. One of the reasons we chose to homeschool was to prevent the system from desensitizing our children to the educated sentiments we have fostered, for without that, including their free will, they would have had a much higher chance of becoming pulled into Oblivion with the rest of the crowd of lotus eaters. However, by doing so, by remaining steadfast and persevering, we promulgate Hope to the future, hope that one day perhaps if enough of us rise from the doldrums, perhaps , just perhaps, we can catch wind in our sails and once more as a society see over the ridge, only this time such flight will not just be for a select few, but all of Gods children.

However, in our attempts to hold onto our own reins and navigate a society without heart, we are also threatened by the temptation of role play, even in our resistance. In the next section I will call out a specific segment of our population, a population whose very fundamental nature should pit them against what they so vehemently support. They have let go of their own reins, become collectivized with their consent and ambitions manufactured, all along the while thinking it was Christ they were surrendering to. Instead, while becoming lost in a celebration of their own performance, they handed their reins to the prince of this world and all of its agendas.  

Section III

Performance Based Christianity

“But for the present age, which prefers the sign to the thing signified, the copy to the original, representation to reality, appearance to essence…truth is considered profane, and only illusion is sacred. Sacredness is in fact held to be enhanced in proportion as truth decreases and illusion increases so the highest degree of illusion comes to be seen as the highest degree of sacredness.”

Ludwig Feuerbach from “The Essence of Christianity”

                While I most certainly disagree with many of Feuerbach's positions, it is undeniable that he was a very intelligent and articulate individual. What he so eloquently stated in this passage, is a recognition of the phenomenon I refer to as Performance Based Christianity. I imagine Ludwig would be astounded by how much further the phenomenon has progressed since he first wrote these words in 1841, where the modern world on its public face in its entirety is a fostered illusion of a hyperreality, where its inhabitants all prefer the sign to the signified, role playing in their own lives. While this is not exclusive to Christians, in this section my attention is locked onto this particular segment of mass society due to the severity of the consequences.

It is said that Feuerbach helped bridge s philosophical gap between Hegel and Marx, which explains to a great degree why I find his presumptions to be off putting. However, even when I disagree with thinkers such as Hegel, Marx, and Feuerbach, I am also able to see elements of their thoughts that resonate with the truth and are useful to understand. Also, it is important for people to not shy away from reading the works of those they think they disagree with, as long as they have developed proper discernment of the respective topics. In the specific case with Feuerbach, while he identified the phenomenon I see, and perhaps I see it indirectly because of him through his chain of influence. It has been said that Feuerbach was a forerunner to media studies as well as provided insights of perspective to Debord’s “Society of the Spectacle”, which happens to be one of the many texts that have helped illuminate my perception of the world. For that reason alone, Ludwig has a measure of my respect. However, I must caution the reader, as I have had to caution myself, be careful reading texts from the past with eyes of modernity, this can cause one to miss the forest for the trees.

While there are numerous philosophical elements to his work that I could address, particularly his idea that man has essentially manufactured God as a mechanism of cope, which I find to be demonstrably absurd, in this essay I am singular in focus here as it revolves around the above passage. I do not want the reader to think I am addressing all of his work; I have learned that attempting to “prove” Gods existence is a fool’s errand. Naturally, one would feel this way if they have reached higher and discovered God, with developed eyes to see and ears to hear, the answer becomes axiomatic. However, for the point in this essay, as mentioned, I am not sure that he would be able to fathom just how much the illusion is able to alter both the sign and the signified, a point that Debord made in his work. Even during Ludwig’s time, the transformation was beginning, to a degree it was there dating back to the inception of the Christian church, were signs and symbols were hidden or obfuscated. However, the 19^th century saw the rise of industrialized society, which led to the understanding of archetypes and the powers of transforming these symbols for both advertising products, ideas, belief systems and entire identities.  Feuerbach recognized that people preferred the sign, a status symbol, a form of performance to show they embodied the signified without actually doing so, taking on the form of a character in a theatre where the actor role plays the part. He saw many Christians’ doing so in his era and this was part of his overall condemnation of Christendom. However, I feel he was being too harsh on this topic, as what was signified by the sign had already become detached from its original.

As an example: If I show you a picture of a stop sign without the words, most likely you can identify what that sign means by thinking abstractly. You understand what the sign represents symbolically and when confronted with it you understand the mechanisms it requires of you to adhere to it. Now, imagine I wait a generation and have the same conversation with someone who has never been in an automobile nor seen a road. Depending upon my presentation of that original sign to them I can instruct it to mean something entirely different, in this case let us say it means “Go.” While this is an elementary example, I hope the reader can see how this new copy of the sign does not mean what it initially did, and the change has significant consequences once the pupil begins to drive During his time the signs of Christianity had already come to represent something different, including interpretation of scripture. Sometimes this occurs naturally, other times as we have seen with so many other symbols, including words, the change is fostered intentionally. However, this takes time to accomplish (although less and less is needed now) and as mentioned numerous times in other works, time is a weapon that is not easily recognized for the common man who infrequently has the capacity for legacy planning.

While I want the reader to hold this concept in their mind throughout this section, especially as it relates to Christians, I want to describe how this same concept is applied to governance. Modern society loves its rhetoric, “protecting democracy”, “land of the free”, “patriotic,” as well as other weaponized words such as “racist”, “bigot”, “terrorist” and “antisemite”.    All of the words mentioned, including countless others, can be viewed as “signs”, meant to symbolize, or signify their meanings. So, what happens when what is signified changes, but the sign remains the same?  What if what is signified by that sign, which is really only a copy, now has a completely different meaning? As one can imagine, it would cause the same type of chaos we would see if many of us interpreted a stop sign as a green light. It is difficult for one to see the utility in this as most reasonable people prefer clarity of communication and have goals of achieving meaningful dialog, not to mention wanting safer streets. However, if one begins to look deeper, it can be found and it is not really that difficult to uncover. As I have said before, the war on words is very real. The state of the modern world can be summarized quite effectively by saying the populace is engaged in constant rhetorical and linguistic warfare, a tower of babel per se.

In the case of governance, which will be more relevant in a bit, a very suspicious development began to take place during the “evolution” from public monarchies to representative democracies. I am not going to examine the nuance of a massive subject, but that really isn’t needed for my point here. The divine right of kings began to give way to another idea, an idea even fostered by Machiavelli, which should inform the reader of the intentions. It was during the 17^th century that this idea began circulating in common parlance with the English political party of the Whigs, who conveniently arrived as a managed opposition of monarchies and catholic emancipation. This group pushed the tract Vox Populi, Vox Dei, which is Latin for “the voice of the people, is the voice of God.” As mentioned, even Machiavelli claimed to be such a collective voice, but this statement is not only relegated to earlier centuries, is has found itself embedded at the core of humanist philosophies regarding the divine legitimacy of “democracies. “Vox Populi, Vox Dei” was even recently posted on Twitter (now X) by Elon Musk, pushing the idea to millions of his followers that somehow the voice of the people is equated to the voice of God.

To be clear:  Even if democracy in the modern world was not an illusion and hyper managed (Sheldon Wolin “Democracy Inc.), where consent is completely manufactured for the public facing policies, while over half of its operations are clandestine and classified and empty of any transparency or accountability, and the general public DID have their own agency and informed considerations, democracy would still not be the “voice of God.”  It would however be a significant improvement, but it would still be an earthy government brought about by far imperfect beings who are very susceptible to original sin.

“Vox Populi, Vox Dei” helped foster, especially for my point, the belief in the legitimacy in the blind authority of the state for Christians.

This concept of course is ridiculous and has been aided by passages placed in the Bible by a Roman aristocrat using a pen name much in the way the Shou Dynasty weaponized Confucius’s philosophy to convince people that to live a good and moral life is to obey your earthly rulers. It is important to understand that Christians were conditioned into believing the legitimacy of the divine right of kings, the replacement form of earthy governance needed to elicit the same type of conviction. While the early ideas of the enlightenment were noble and just, they were subverted from their very inception to help transition power and royalty from center stage to behind the theatre. It was always a smoke screen to foment compliance, a false sentiment conjured from the grimore of the elite. It is important to understand that some of the Bible is not always what we think, it has been edited a lot by those who have attempted to remove Christ from Christianity, or to weaponize him, for their own gain. However, this does not mean it invalidates scripture just because of a few subversions, one just has to learn to look past the conditioning and see Christ. Otherwise, we end up with a society of signs of Christ but without the signifier, the original meaning being replaced to promulgate his appearance instead of his essence. Only the illusion is sacred, and as Feuerbach said, “…as truth decreases, and illusion increases so the highest degree of illusion comes to be seen as the highest degree of sacredness.”  

Considering all of this, it can be understood how modern Christianity has been recuperated into the system as a mere voting bloc. Role playing Christians are useful to the state as many views earthy governments as being ordained by God, especially democracies. While they may not openly say as much, their entire thought architecture has been bent to this scaffolding. Performance based Christianity is fostered by mass society.  This is one-way Christians have had their consent manufactured for things like Israel’s ongoing genocide in Gaza.

For clarity, I am about to launch a volley towards this Christian performance, but I do so in the spirit of the following scripture:

To Give light to them that sit in darkness, and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of Peace.

Luke 1:79

 While genocide is fomented by political actions, it is not a political problem at its root, it is a moral one. Genocide is another word that has become obfuscated, having its original intent muddied with the assistance of a modern society that often self-destructs through moral depravity. Currently the meaning of the term is being questioned by Israel as their primary defense to the actions currently rests with technical semantics. However, if one studies the work of Rapheal Lemkin (1900-1959) who was known for coining the term genocide and campaigning to establish the genocide convention it becomes clear what his intentions were. Lemkin believed that no group of people should be targeted based upon their ethnicity or religion, basing his ideas off of the atrocities committed against the Jewish people by Nazi Germany. He believed that no group of people should be exposed to collective punishment, nor should any government have the authority to ethnically cleanse a population. On the 9^th of December 1948 the United Nations approved the genocide convention with many of its clauses based on Limpkins proposals.

 While I am certainly not a fan of the United Nations, this was one of the few declarations that had noble intent. However, like most other flowery modern rhetoric and declarations, they act as mere window dressing for appeasement.  In this world there is an unfathomable amount of government malfeasance hidden behind an increasingly opaque wall of government secrecy, but when on occasion they manage to get called out on it, like in the case with South Africa reporting Israel to the ICJ for genocide, they defend themselves using technical protocols, legal jargon, and of course the Marxist strategy of DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Roles of Victim & Offender). While I am not implying, they are Marxists, they have co-opted the tactics as well as many from the Mein Kampf. All “liberal democracies” do this throughout their entire neo-feudal apparatus. This is why they do not want you reading such things, it is part of their playbook and it easy to recognize it for what it is.

 Furthermore, the ethnic cleansing of Gaza has been re-defined by Israel as being “voluntary”, even though residents are being chased out with bombs, nor do they have any food, water, or medical facilities. This is like saying someone is voluntarily leaving their home because it is on fire, it is not really a choice if one wants to continue living. Hypocrisy and cynicism pervade almost every word from modern government officials. Despite the axiomatic transparency of the lies and double standards, Israel holds the support of many Christians, those of the performance-based kind, which is unfortunately a mass majority of them.

To boil away all of the jargon and rhetoric, let us use a small example before I expand this problem. Say we have this one person who we label as a “terrorist” and let us assume this is not a false label because they dissent with the state, nor are they a freedom fighter doing ethically questionable things to their oppressor, they are in fact a very bad person who harms civilians in a vacuum. In order to eliminate that person, to mitigate the risk, it will cost you the lives of 31 innocent civilians, 21 of which would be children. So, in order to “kill” this terrorist, we must also murder a classroom of children and quarter of their parents. It is not possible for a Christian to justify this; Christ would most certainly not condone such activity. However, this is the ratio of combatant to civilian deaths in Gaza at this point in time, and it only appears to be getting far worse as well as potentially spilling into a larger war as several entities have decided to begin engaging Israel with the intent of stopping the genocide.  Naturally, these combatants have been framed as the “axis of evil”, some of which are now labeled “terrorists” such as the Houthi’s for attempting to pressure Israel with a blockade to stop a genocide.

As mentioned in Discourse 1, I will never attack any race or ethnicity because of those descriptions, but I will attack bad ideas and false beliefs. I wish nothing but peace and love for the individual Jew, same as I wish for all people. However, performance-based Christians have been conditioned to believe many narratives about Israel that are false, having them equate it to things mentioned in scripture, when in reality the country of Israel is largely an artificial creation that did not arise organically out of the political and geographic circumstances of the area.  Instead, while the ideas of Zionism are older, including the advocacy of Theodor Herzl who became known as the “father of modern political Zionism, it was really developed during the 20^th century beginning with the Balfour Declaration, where a nation was dropped on top of a civilization that already existed there for many, many generations. It became formalized after World War II when a largely dead language outside of religious rituals was resurrected for a new nation state, and mass migration into the new state of Israel began. It is clear to see why the political situation in the middle east has not been the same since.  Couple that with the understanding of the normal operations of this new government and one can see the situation much clearer. Consider this quote from Chris Hedges: ‘“Jewish identity” and “Jewish nationalism” are the Zionist versions of blood and soil”. Although in our hyperreality, it is apparently impossible for Jews to be fascist or totalitarian and to claim as such is to be labeled as an antisemite, but this is part of the DARVO strategy, so do not be thrown off track. Furthermore, this narrative is constantly reinforced by powerful groups such as JINSA and AIPAC here in America. 

Christians must consider the spiritual interpretation of the Bible, Israel is not a place, it is you. We are all God’s chosen people. Rebuilding the temple is an individual building themselves out of the original sin and discovering Christ. Using Israel as a literal place where the temple will be rebuilt is very useful strategy to manipulate Christians into not only supporting Zionism, which ironically a similar strategy was laid out in the Mein Kampf, as all movements need their “Rome”, but it also prevents them from seeing Christ who is already waiting on them to reach out, to return some day in the future. To be fair, evangelical Christians are lodged the deepest in this trap. In the evangelical worldview, the 1948 creation of Israel was a fulfillment of Biblical prophecy and the Palestinians are either “non-existent” or “the enemies of God because they are the enemies of the state of Israel.” After quite a few generations now, many people, including scholars, now buy into this artificial idea and it is now defended with religious zealotry. Zionism had its original meanings in the minds of Christians removed, instead planted in its place are ideas and sentiments that could be considered approved by Christ, an inversion of the truth. Although, to Zionists, they understand what they are doing quite well. Acedia has done its part in the modern world to cause Christians to forget about Christ, and what his works would look like in our world.

It is not only Christians, but most people have been conditioned to think Zionism is anything other than what it is, a truly racist authoritarian philosophy. As it relates to those who say what is transpiring is not ethnic cleansing, it is not worthwhile to give much weight to their opinion, the strategy we are watching play out literally resides at the very ligaments of the philosophy of Zionism in the very words of its progenitors.

To be clear, I completely disregard the attempts of governments, including that of our own here in America, to equate antizionism with antisemitism. This is just another part of the DARVO strategy, which is an actual injustice to Jewish individuals who experience antisemitism, some of which are also antizionists. Hard to reconcile the existence of such individuals with that of the narrative, so they are not very often given a public platform. Nothing I say should be interpreted as though I have indiscriminate malice in my heart. If you interpret anything I said as such, it is more of a reflection of you and not I. For my children, you of course know better of your father. 

In a 2002 article for The Guardian titled "A New Exodus for The Middle East?” Israeli historian Benny Morris writes the agenda to “transfer” Palestinians to other countries has existed for as long as modern Zionism:

“The idea of transfer is as old as modern Zionism and has accompanied its evolution and praxis during the past century. And driving it was an iron logic:  There could be no viable Jewish state in all or part of Palestine unless there was a mass displacement of Arab inhabitants, who opposed its emergence and would constitute an active or potential fifth column in its midst. This logic was understood, and enunciated, before and during 1948 by Zionist, Arab and British leaders and officials.”

Continuing:

“As early as 1895, Theodor Herzl, the prophet and founder of Zionism, wrote in his diary in anticipation of the establishment of the Jewish state: “We shall try to spirit the penniless (Arab) population across the border by procuring employment for it in the transit countries, while denying it any employment in our country… The removal of the Arabs must be carried our discreetly and circumspectly!”’

Although, in the present day, discretion is not necessary when the movement of Zionism is supported by those who have absolute narrative control. Hamas is not the target in Gaza, Hamas is just the excuse. Much like other “terrorist” organizations created by a client state for geopolitical utility, Hamas was likewise fostered by Israeli intelligence to serve as their own controlled opposition against the “two state” solution. To what degree October 7^th was engineered we may never know, but we do know unequivocally that it was permitted to happen, instead blaming “intelligence oversights.” Even if Hamas is operating under its own agency or now under the “influence” of Iran, Israel operates human terrain systems more advanced than Nexus 7 on the ground in Gaza, such an attack would be as transparent as a hive of glass. Furthermore, it is now known than many Israeli civilians and soldiers that were killed on the 7^th were due to the ordering of the “Hannibal Directive” which seeks to kill citizens or soldiers instead of having them become captive. Nothing I have stated here is a sign of support for the October 7^th attacks, but they did not happen in a vacuum. Gaza is an open-air concentration camp where people live in subhuman conditions by will of apartheid Israel. Pepper in some disgruntled fundamentalists with weapons and suitcases of cash and you have a recipe for a new crisis to manage. (New York Times: “Israel drove suitcases stuffed with cash into Gaza to keep Hamas in Power” 12/11/2023) 

To quote Caitlin Johnstone in her article from 01/04/2024 titled “It’s Insane that anyone is still supporting Israel”:

“It honestly blows my mind that there are still people supporting Israel after all of this. After all the people they’ve killed. After all the lies they’ve been caught in. After all their comments endorsing genocide and ethnic cleansing, and all their actions showing they mean it.”

She continues:

“Wait until zoomers figure out that Epstein did what he did because he was running a sexual blackmail operation for Israeli intelligence. The most significant aspect of the Epstein story is not that he helped some famous people rape minors, it’s that powerful intelligence agencies use child sex slaves and sexual blackmail to exert control over our society.”

In reality, supporting Israel is not supporting “Jews”, it is supporting a government that is one of the most deprave in all of the modern world. Israel is not alone in its standard operating procedure, but at the moment they are the most blatant. While I share Caitlin’s sentiments on being incredulous that people still support such things, I have come to understand the sheer power of social engineering and how mass societies opinions are easily manufactured, including that of supposedly devout Christians. While there are many examples of performance-based Christianity that revolve around the Sunday Morning or Nominal Christian which I could explore at length, I lament nothing greater that what is presented in this quote from Marcel Proust in his “In search of Lost time.”:

“…indifference to the sufferings one causes, an indifference which, whatever names one may give it, it is the terrible and permanent form of cruelty.”

It is easy to go along with the state when the bombs are dropped on children outside of your vision, where you do not have to be personally accountable for the death, destruction, and pain. However, I can think of nothing less Christ like than to let Acedia produce apathy in your heart towards the sufferings of others. You cannot justify this in your heart to Christ, nor can you be forgiven for your indifference.

However, this is by far not the only thing that Christians or non-Christians have been manipulated over in this world, but the path to seeing this truth begins with your own self-discovery, the exodus from Egypt, away from the life of a role-playing Christian, or a mere member of the crowd. In the way that merely attending church does not grant one collective salvation, the anonymity of a voter or advocate does not wash the sin from your hands because you did not pull the trigger or witness the explosion. Acedia tempts you into that false belief, a demon you must exorcise. But the good thing, it is never too late to change. While the change in the institutional structures of the world may take generations worth of cultural renaissance, your world can change immediately. As I will discuss in the conclusion, it is never too late to leave Saul behind and become Paul.

While I do hope for change in the world’s governments, it is not something I expect any time soon. For that reason, I personally walk in a form of Christian Anarchism for my personal life, and advise strongly against Christian Nationalism, which is another performance based social mobilization.

Then Peter and the other Apostles answered and said, we ought to obey God rather than men.

Acts 5:29

 As it stands, I do not find much legitimacy in modern government, it is more of a force of nature like tornados, floods, or hurricanes that one must contend with and endure. Christian anarchism’s rejection of ethnic and nationalistic divisions is grounded in the Apostle Paul’s Epistle to the Ephesians, where he presents the kingdom of God as a spiritual nation with no walls between Jews and Gentiles. Though the anarchism of the early church is more separatist than the activist Christian anarchism of some latter advocates, both approaches share a rejection of violence by the state, and a commitment to Jesus words before the Roman procurator Pontius Pilate: “My Kingdom is not of this World”.

“When the mob governs, man is ruled by ignorance. When the church governs, he is ruled by superstition; and when the state governs, he is ruled by fear. Before men can live together in harmony and understanding, ignorance must be transmuted into wisdom, superstition into an illuminated faith, and fear into love.”

-Manley P. Hall

Conclusion

Feeding the Sheep

                In this Discourse, I have covered significant ground, from my individual struggles with Faith and the demon that haunts me, to the issues facing a society without heart and the struggles with Christianity in the modern world. I hope you as the reader have found something in my words to edify your own path, and if you have been so captured by the Lotus fruit, perhaps you can begin your own exodus.

In returning to the Intro, I spoke of the mystery that calls to us all by name. I testify that I indeed have determined that it does mean something wonderful. I have heard that joyous sound, it calls me by my name, in it I find my refuge and strength, my identity. I have chosen to walk by faith and not by sight, I can believe without seeing.  (2 Corinthians 5:7) Once you choose to reach for God with a sincere heart, I promise you, you will feel him reaching back.

And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

Jeremiah29:13

Do not withdraw from this everlasting unconditional embrace out of doubt or because you fear you do not deserve it. Do not allow Acedia to whisper this doubt into your ear and turn your heart from Christ, or to tempt you into thinking you are irredeemable and undeserving of redemption, causing you to decide to remain miserable than to accept such a gift. It is prideful to reject this salvation for these reasons, for it would mean we value our own judgement more than Gods. Forgiveness and peace are there if you accept it, fight off Acedia to keep it in your hearts, allow our father to lift you to higher things and the schemes of the demons will lose their power to reach you.

Christians rightfully look upon the life of Christ to emulate, asking ourselves “What would Jesus Do?”, but we are setting ourselves up for failure. We cannot be perfect like Christ, for we have a chariot pulled by a mortal horse that responds to the whips of Acedia, causing it to perpetually seek to drag us toward earth. The steed pushes us to forgetfulness, guilt, and despair, because we feel as though we failed Christ, tempting us to deny our own salvation.

While we should seek Christ’s face, it is Paul we should focus on, as he is arguably the main character of the New Testament, he shows us redemption could be possible for all of us mere mortals. Essentially, Paul is the entire key for our perception of Christianity. It is easy to be cynical about Paul, to look at him through the eyes of the modern world and view him as a liar. In my youth, I would have interpreted this, rather, I did interpret him to have his own motivations as some sort of Machiavellian riding the tide of a large social movement seeking power and fame. So often in our current world we are presented with a person on a stage who is just that, a Machiavellian, a chameleon with a forked tongue. However, once again this would be placing our modern eyes and perceptions onto what we are reading, and that obfuscates the intent of the text.

We often view people now as, once a liar, always a liar, but scripture tells us, that genuine change is possible. Isn’t that the cornerstone idea of Christianity, that fundamental change is possible? The question is, can Saul truly become Paul? Here was a man who persecuted Christians and suddenly feels the political winds changing and saw an opportunity for career advancement and then suddenly goes “I saw Christ appear to me.” As a reader, can you sit there and believe him?  It is difficult to not assume this is still Saul, it is difficult to forgive him, and it is very easy to condemn him. Do you think that a man is the sum of a set of personality traits that are set in stone OR do you believe that it is possible to make fundamental deep personality changes based upon your own directed will? Is it possible to simply choose to change? Is freedom real?

Do you believe the universe is closed due to deterministic causality, or do you believe in the ultimate and transformative power of Human freedom? Is human choice genuine? Are Human choices and Human freedom truly free and not a hallucination?

Is it easier to say to an infirm that your sins are forgiven or to say get up and walk? Is it easier to believe Paul is genuine in his conviction that he had a true moral awakening, a real change in his soul, or to call him a liar and condemn him?

Condemn him by saying he was always a dirty lying snake, an opportunist. Surely it can’t be a coincidence that Jesus dies and the next thing that happens is you literally have this scumbag, the worst guy ever, come around. Do you believe a person can change? Do you believe in human agency? Do you believe in the transformative power of Love?

Is it truly easier to believe a man could rise from the dead than it is that a man like Paul could change? Is it easier to say get up and walk or to say your sins are forgiven?

Morality can fundamentally change you. You can change. Saying that people do not change is a form of cope. You can absolutely change on a deep fundamental level. Morality is hacking determinism. Moral introspection and moral awakening are hacking determinism, hacking original sin. Hacking the default state, the path of least resistance. God gave free will for that reason, to give you the choice, you have the ability to move the bars of your own prison. You can change yourself down to the deepest level, with both feet. You can do it right now. You are free.

There is beauty from ashes, so come as you are. Lift your hands up and you will find the top of the dresser. If you can believe in Paul, you can believe in yourself. You can believe in your own forgiveness, the salvation that is waiting for you, just like our good shepherd. So, what is your choice? Do you want a better life?

I believe in Paul.

I have surrendered to Christ, my rock. My lighthouse.

Every soul is engaged in a great work- the labor of personal liberation from the state of ignorance. The world is a great prison; its bars are the Unknown. And each is a prisoner until, at least, he ears the right to tear these bars from their moldering sockets, and pass, illuminated and inspired into the darkness, which becomes lighted by that presence.

-Manly Hall

For this cause, I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God. Now unto him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end.

Amen.

Ephesians 3: 14-21